


When the Cherry Blossoms Fall

by jongaed



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Pining, Side chanbaekxing, Slow Burn, Smut, Switching, Tattoo AU, clear sexual tension, honestly i just love writing about idiots in love ok, idiot sehun, idiots not talking about things, other tws in the next chapter - going to be updated accordingly, pastel!sehun, side Kaisoo - Freeform, side joygi, side xiuchen - Freeform, tw drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 01:09:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21485857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jongaed/pseuds/jongaed
Summary: Sehun's uni tutor is an A+ student, always well dressed, abiding the rules, never seen at parties, innocent nerd. Sehun believes he's the most boring man on the planet.That's it until he visits an underground tattoo parlour and bumps into an unexpected certain someone
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 11
Kudos: 103





	When the Cherry Blossoms Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a tweetfic but anyways, here is the first part.

"I don't understand why you have to go"

Jongin sighs into his Starbucks cup. They're sitting in the shop that's right in the middle of campus, surrounded by other university buildings. Sehun is drinking his coffee slowly, taking his time. There's still half an hour before he has to go, so he isn't in a rush.

"I told you already." He rolls his eyes, putting the phone that was in his hand down on the table after checking the time. "I can't fail this year. I barely scraped by the previous two, and this is the final one." The final year meant whatever Sehun ends up with, that's his degree forever. His employability depended on how he did this year around, and he really didn't want to end up working in a shitty firm, sitting behind a desk 9 hours a day for barely any money at all.

"But today of all days?" Jongin's pouting now, them puppy eyes of his be damned. Sehun usually could never say no to a pouting Jongin, one of the weaknesses that his friend seemed to take advantage of whenever he really wanted something.

"Jongin-ah" Seulgi chimes in then, clearly seeing that Sehun's defences were slowly falling. "It's not like he's skipping the whole thing, chill out." She taps Jongin on the shoulder.

Sehun is thankful for her interruption, as he's pretty sure some more of Jongin whining and pouting would have him drop all of his plans all together. And he really can't, however much he'd want to skip a boring study session.

"I know, but it's Kyungsoo-hyung's celebration outing. He got promoted! We're celebrating!" He's almost whining now, lower lip still poking out, this time trying to attack Seulgi with his aegyo. 

"Jongin, I will literally just be like an hour late. I'm sure I won't miss that much, yeah?"

Jongin gives up with a sigh and slumps back into his seat, defeated. He grabs his drink and starts sipping on it grumpily.

"Besides I'm sure you'd rather pick him up from work yourself, so you can make out in the parking lot again." Seulgi wiggles her eyebrows at Jongin, who snorts out a laugh and punches her lightly on the arm.

"Stop, we almost got caught!" there's a small blush on his cheeks. "No more making out in the parking lot! He's not out at work, and I'm sure there's better way of coming out to your coworkers than them catching you making out with a dude."

"Do you think they really don't know?" Sehun takes another sip of his coffee. "A twink in crop tops picks him out from work every now and again and he slides his hands across the twink's abs as a way of saying hello. Believe me, they know you're fucking."

This time Sehun is the one getting punched.

"Yah! I hate you both, honestly."

"Okay, twink" Seulgi throws Jongin's way.

"What is this discrimination? There's nothing wrong with being a twink!" he's faking indignation which Sehun can tell by a small smile hiding on his lips. "Twink pride!"

He's definitely being too loud, as a girl walking past them at that time gives him a weird look. As soon as she's gone the three of them snicker.

"Whatever. You," here he's pointing at Sehun "are just jealous because I've got a hot as fuck boyfriend, and you," his finger is pointing at Seulgi now "are bitter because Sooyoung doesn't even know you exist."

Sehun rolls his eyes while Seulgi leans back, eyes closed, with a hand on her chest.

"Ah. Deadly shot! How could you be so cruel you monster."

"Anyway, speaking of hot men" Jongin's attention is back at Sehun while Seulgi is still pretending to be dying in the background. "How is tutoring with Kim Junmyeon going?"

Sehun thinks for a second. Yeah, Kim Junmyeon is attractive, that was for sure. But that was it, really. He wasn't even Sehun's type. Too short, too plain, too... boring. He shrugs.

"It's been going alright. He's a bit awkward, but he's smart, so I guess that's good." They only had one tutoring session so far, Kim Junmyeon was just checking all of the knowledge up till now. He tried telling a joke, that was more awkward than funny, and then proceeded with laughing at it by himself, not deterred by the fact that Sehun was just looking at him with a grimace on his face.

"I still can't believe you have to see him today, but alright."

"He can't reschedule. Apparently this is the only time a week that he's free."

Jongin scoffs.

"As if. That man just sits at home and studies, it's not like he's going to any parties or anything." It was true, during his previous two years on Campus Sehun hasn't seen Junmyeon at a party once. "He doesn't need a job either, his parents are loaded as fuck."

"Well, I don't know. Maybe he does like, nerd stuff." Sehun doesn't really care that much to be honest. "Volunteering in the library or something, whatever, Jongin, he's my free ticket to passing this fucking year."

Seulgi finally finishes pretending to be dying from Jongin's earlier remark and chimes back into the conversation.

"There's a lot of rumours about him around"

Sehun raises a brow, already 

"Rumours?"

"Yeah. You know how he always wears long sleeves? And like, things around his neck?"

Sehun thinks for a second. It's true, he never saw Junmyeon without some long sleeved top, usually a turtleneck.

"I heard that he has burns, like, all over his body."

Sehun frowns. If that's true, he feels bad that Junmyeon feels the need to hide them.

"No, no" Jongin intercepts "Apparently he's like deadly allergic to the sun."

Sehun rolls his eyes. Oh alright. So there's multiple rumours. Which means people don't know for sure and are just guessing.

"Stop it. Those are literally just rumours. But even if wither of those was true, what does it matter?" he taps the lid of his coffee cup, irritated. "Rumours are poison. Leave him alone."

Both Jongin and Seulgi actually have the decency to look guilty. They were both there when a nasty rumour about him got spread in high school. The two of them were the only ones who were still his friends after that.

Sehun doesn't want to think about it.

"I'll ask him today, if you're so curious." he adds, just to try and lighten the atmosphere. "I'll try and be sensitive about it too. I'm sure he gets asked all the time anyway" he shrugs. "Anyway, how are dance classes guys?" he changes the topic quickly.

They look grateful for that, as they start animatedly about the training.

Both of them study dance as their degree and Sehun has always been so jealous. Every time he danced he could feel the endorphins running through his body, he could feel _alive_. But his parents, unlike Jongin's and Seulgi's, did not think that happiness and feeling alive were important in life. Employability and living skills however, were, so Sehun had no choice but to follow a degree he hated, while watching his friends follow their dreams, _his_dreams.

He tried not to feel bitter about it and support them. It helped that at the beginning of University they made another friend, Chanyeol, who was also stuck in a business course even though he didn't want it. Although, even Chanyeol convinced his folks to let him do a double major, business and music.

Sehun didn't have that much luck. According to his parents dance was a waste of time, just a stupid hobby.

So sometimes it was hard not to feel a bit bitter when after hours and hours of sitting in class, listening to boring people talk about boring stuff, he would meet up with his friends and they'd both be out of breath, sweaty from practice but with the biggest smiles on their faces.

"By the way." Jongin brings his cup with the green tea up to his mouth and takes a sip. "We've booked the studio again for Tuesday." he's smiling at Sehun softly. "Made sure it was after your lectures, too."

Ah, yes. This helped too.

Sehun sends them both a big smile.

"Great. Can't wait."

They talk about their days for a little bit more, as Sehun slowly finishes his coffee.

"She's just... So hot" Seulgi sighs at one point while talking about how she saw Sooyoung just earlier, while acting students were waiting for the dance students to leave the stage, so they can start their practice. "I don't know how a person as hot as Park Sooyoung can exist." she puts her forehead on the table and murmurs into it. "I just want to talk to her at least once"

"I know this may come as a shock to you, Seulgi," Jongin slurps the rest of his tea and puts the cup away "but if you want to talk to her, you could just... come up to her and say hi"

"Unrealistic. Blocked."

Jongin rolls his eyes.

"This isn't twitter, this is real life, you can't block me.

Seulgi looks up with raised eyebrows

"Blocked AND reported."

Sehun laughs at both of them and then his alarm starts going off.

"That's me guys, gotta go." he stands up and grabs his bag. He looks at Jongin who's pouting at him again. "See you later, yeah?"

They say their goodbyes, with more whining from Jongin about Sehun having to go, and then Sehun is on his way to the tutoring room that Junmyeon booked for them.

When he comes in, Junmyeon is already sitting at the table, reading a from a piece of paper, his glasses on his face.

"Ah, Sehunnie, come in" he looks up and smiles. His eyes look so small through the lenses Sehun just wants to laugh, but then the tutor takes them off and suddenly it's hard to pretend Sehun doesn't find him attractive.

He walks up to the table and sits down by it, opposite Junmyeon.

"How was your day, Sehun-ssi?" he arranges the papers laid out in front of him in a stack.

Sehun shrugs.

"Alright" there wasn't much to it, really. But Junmyeon seems like he's waiting for more, so he adds "Went to lectures. Ate lunch. Met my friends. Came here. Nothing exciting happened."

"Hmmm, is that good or bad?"

"I mean..." he scratches the back of his neck. "Could be more exciting, but also it's not bad to have a slow day, I guess." Why was Junmyeon always so nice? It made it so hard to dislike him.

"Definitely not. Especially during the craziness of a last year of the course." The way he always keeps eye contact is very distracting. For some reason Sehun isn't able to keep it back, instead looking at the pair of glasses in Junmyeon's hand.

Junmyeon takes a paper from the top of the stack and puts his glasses back on. It's much easier to look at his face now.

"I had a look at the little test you did here last week." he scans the paper quickly, and then takes another few. "And as you gave me permission to look through your learning records, I had a look at all your essays and assignments, too."

Holy shit, when Sehun signed that little permission slip he never thought that Junmyeon would actually go through few of them, never mind _all_ of them. From the thickness of the stack it really looked like he meant _all_, as in since his first year.

Sehun suddenly feels ashamed.

Junmyeon slides his glasses down so that he looks at Sehun from above them, his expression serious. Sehun swears it's nervousness that makes his heart skip and hands sweat.

"Do you actually want to study business, Sehun?"

Ouch. So it was that bad, huh?

"Listen, I know I'm stupid, but-"

"Oh, god, no!" Junmyeon looks taken aback and guilty. "You're definitely not stupid. That's a legitimate question." He picks up another paper "Those essays, they're not bad, they all passed, they're just... Stale. As if you're dreading every sentence you put in them."

Sehun blinks a couple of times. That about sums it up. He really _was_ dreading every sentence, every _word_ he had to write.

"Even the first one, from year one." he continues "It seems like you were already burned out while writing it. Even though your course didn't even begin properly." He's back to the first sheet of paper now, scanning it again. "And the test we did last week... You don't know many basic terms and themes from the first years, but know the ones you learned more recently." he frowns his eyebrows at something he sees on the test. "seems like you learn as you go along, but as soon as you don't actively need the knowledge anymore, it leaves your head."

Sehun stares now, not understanding how Junmyeon could deduct everything so correctly just from a few essays and assignments.

"So, what I'm asking is, do you like what you're studying? Do you _want_ to study it?"

He wants to snap at Junmyeon and tell him it's not his fucking business, that that's not what he's here for. But something about the genuine expression on the man's face stops him.

He takes a deep breath.

"I hate it" he starts slowly. "I don't want to do it. But I have to."

Whenever he talk about it, his friends look at him with pity. There's no pity in Junmyeon's eyes, just understanding.

"Parents?" he asks.

Sehun nods.

Junmyeon takes a deep breath, followed by a hum.

"Well..." the glasses are off again. God damn it. "There's really two options here. I could try and help you learn all the new material they give you and the old one you're missing. It would take most of your free time to learn it." he's focused now, looking at something that looks like scribbled notes in his notebook. "And when I say that, I mean you'd have to study every day, at least 8 hours a day, including weekends."

God damn it.

"What's the other option?"

Junmyeon smirks, he actually fucking _smirks_. For some unknown reason Sehun's body temperature rises.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

"Well. I could teach you how to get good grades by... Taking advantage of the system"

Sehun freezes. Did he really hear that right? Did these actual words just come out out of Kim Junmyeon's mouth?

"You mean like... Cheating?" he knows cheating on tests is very risky, and he doesn't know if he's willing to sabotage all of the work he already put in his course.

"Not always. Although, sometimes. Depending on the teacher and the test." Sehun never thought Kim Junmyeon would advise him cheating on a test. "But other than that, I have some... tricks. I did the same course you're doing, know my way around it" he shrugs. "You'd still have to study, of course. Just, nowhere near as much." there's a glint in his eyes as his smile stays playful.

"What's the catch?" he asks.

He laughs. It's the laugh that makes his eyes disappear, turning them into crescents instead. His face scrunches as his mouth opens with the sound. He looks like an actual real life emoji. Ridiculous.

There's a funny feeling in Sehun's stomach.

"Well, the catch is, you won't know business. So you won't get far in that line of work." he explains, eyes still shining with amusement. "So, the choice is yours. What would you prefer?"

Sehun can't believe what he's hearing. Kim Junmyeon, the same Kim Junmyeon that secured a scholarship in his first year of his masters degree, who Sehun is pretty sure finished the year with the best results out of his year, was telling him to 'take advantage of the system'?

"You will get a good starter job though. With good pay. Better than all the ones that pay you close to nothing for 8 hours out of your day."

"I..." Well, its not like Sehun suspected he would get far in the business line anyway. And this sounded better than ruining a year out of his life to do something he hates for the rest of it. This way he can still enjoy that last year of freedom.

"Yeah, I like the second option better."

Junmyeon grins.

"Great! I can go through some of the basics that you definitely need with you today, and in the future we can move on to-"

"Do you like it?" Sehun knows it's rude to interrupt, but the question was gnawing at the back of his brain since Junmyeon revealed that he knows 'tricks'.

"Hmm?" he tilts his head, looking like a confused puppy. Cu- Erm.

"Do you like business?" he follows up quickly, as a distraction from his brain coming up with weird adjectives about Junmyeon.

"Ahh..." the older chuckles under his breath. "I like it enough. It helps that I know it will get me where I want to be in the future." the glasses find their way on his face again. "but enough about me, let's focus on the task at hand!"

For the next hour and a half they go through basic concepts and key words, some of which Sehun knows, some of which he remembers learning but doesn't remember the meaning. Most of it though, it's like he's learning new material, even though Junmyeon assures him that it's all that he already learned.

If he thinks Sehun is stupid for not remembering or understanding some concepts, he doesn't show it. There's not a sign of irritation on his face for the whole way through their session, no matter how many times Sehun asks him to explain again.

They're both packing their bags, at the end. Once Junmyeon is standing up and Sehun sees how short the taller man is again, something makes him feel calm. That's right, Junmyeon was short. Short, boring, with a smile that scrunched his face up and glasses that made him look ridiculous.

"Which way are you going, Junmyeon-sunbae?" he asks. Just to make sure they're going their separate ways, of course.

"Call me 'hyung', Sehun-ah" here's that scrunchy smile. "And, going just out and then to the parking lot."

The parking lot is on the way to Sehun's dorm room. It's right in front of it, actually.

"That's right outside of where I live" he says and mentally face palms.

"Let's walk together then?" Junmeyon suggests.

Sehun nods. Well, he kind of got himself in this situation in the first place by not shutting up. Oh well.

They leave the classroom and walk towards the steps instead of the lift. They're halfway down when Sehun starts speaking.

"Hyung?" Junmyeon looks up at him, so he continues. "I was just wondering, why do you keep on wearing long sleeves?" only when the words leave his mouth does he actually realise how nosy that is. "I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Junmyeon laughs and Sehun looks away.

"I'm anemic" there's a tilt of amusement in his tone. "I'm just always cold, see?" He grabs Sehun's hand with his own and it's true, his hand is quite cold. Sehun focuses on that, instead of the skip his heart did.

"Oh" well, that makes sense. Sort of. In a way. But even if it didn't, it's the explanation Junmyeon is willing to give him.

They leave the building side by side, making their way to the parking lot.

"Any plans for the rest of the day?" there's genuine curiosity in Junmyeon's voice.

"I'm going to see my friends. My best friend's boyfriend got promoted to be the head chef, so we're having a small celebration."

"Sounds exciting" Sehun doesn't even notice he followed Junmyeon all the way to his car. "Hope you have fun, Sehun-ah. See you next week!" he get in his car before Sehun even has a chance to ask him if has any plans too. He only manages a small 'bye hyung'.

He's watching the car drive off, and then he turns around to where his dormitory is.

It's quiet inside, but it's because his roommate is Chanyeol, and he's definitely already in the restaurant, getting drunk with the rest of their friends. It shouldn't take him long to take a shower and change clothes, so he does just that.

*

The uber is a bit late, so he gets to the restaurant later than he was supposed to.

"Oh Sehun, you're late!" Jongin's loud and accusatory voice greets him the moment he comes up to their table in the VIP area. He already sounds tipsy, and once Sehun locates him and finds that his legs are swung across Kyungsoo's lap and his arms are around Kyungsoo's neck. This was the reason they usually got private tables in restaurants, once the two of them got a bit of alcohol in their systems, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

"But I'm here now!" Sehun looks around the table and the only free place is between the clingy couple and Chanyeol. He tries not to visibly sigh, as he sits himself down.

There's two people opposite him that Sehun doesn't know, although one of them looks awfully familiar for some reason.

"Oh yes, Sehunnie" Kyungsoo look at him then, and takes his hand off of Jongin's visible stomach (and _of course_ Jongin wore a crop top) and points at the two men in front of him.

"This is Jongdae and Minseok. Jongdae is the guy that did my tattoos and Minseok is his boyfriend"

He shakes both of their hands, his eyes lingering on the guy named 'Minseok'. Minseok, Minseok... As well as the face, the name also seemed familiar. Where did he...

"Ah!" It suddenly comes to him, as he recognises the man. "You're a youtuber!" he remembers his ex boyfriend watching his videos sometimes. "Xiumin, right?"

Minseok raises an eyebrow but chuckles. "In the flesh" he drinks the beer from his glass, eyeing Sehun curiously. "I assume you're not a subscriber?"

Sehun smiles sheepishly.

"Ah, no, sorry... My ex boyfriend used to watch like, all of your videos though."

Minseok laughs, and Jongdae, who was in the middle of a conversation with Yeri, looks over just to glance at his boyfriend's smile and smile too.

Sehun thinks they're cute.

They all get along quite well. Just a few beers later Sehun is joking around with everyone, including the two new additions to the group. They both seem to adapt so easily to the group dynamics, Sehun wonders why they weren't introduced earlier.

"God, I can't believe she got a tattoo" Seulgi whines from next to Chanyeol, pouting at her phone. Her face is red and Sehun knows she's probably quite drunk by now. "As if she could get even more hot."

Sehun immediately knew she was talking about Sooyoung.

"Damn, that is hot" Chanyeol comments, after leaning over to look at Seulgi's phone, so Sehun looks too. The tattoo is of red-ish flowers, right on the girl's thigh. 

"Wow, that's like... Exactly the style I want" Sehun takes the phone out of Seulgi's hand despite her protests and zooms in. The flowers are so delicate and seem to blend in with the skin so well. Every time Sehun randomly came in to a tattoo studio and showed what he wanted, the artists usually said that it would have to have a black outline, even just a thin one, but Sehun really didn't want that. What he wanted was a pale, edge-less cherry blossom flower, just above the crease of his elbow.

"Jongdae" Kyungsoo says right next to him, and Sehun startles, not realising that the man was looking over his shoulder. Then he takes the phone from Sehun's hand (Seulgi whines even louder) and shows it to the tattooist. "Would you be able to do something like that?"

Jongdae's face changes from playful to a focused one as he studies the picture.

"No, I don't think I could pull it off. Tattooing with those kinds of colours and without the outline, it's... quite challenging." Sehun sighs at the words "But!" Jongdae continues and Sehun perks up again "I do know the person who did this exact tattoo" he points to the phone and then Sehun grabs it again and sure enough, there's an Instagram linked below the photo.

He clicks on it and gasps.

The tattoos are amazing, they're so pretty it takes Sehun a moment to realise that Jongdae is still talking to him.

"He really is talented, but he's usually booked months in advance. But, well, since we're friends now, I can tell you that if you go there on a Sunday, and tell them Jongdae send you, he will most likely tattoo you right there and then" Jongdae sends him a wide smile. And well, he's drunk, but Sehun trusts that he's telling the truth.

He browses the Instagram page again, trying to find any sort of information, but finds only names under pictures. Some of the tattoos are done by someone called "Irene" and others, the ones exactly Sehun's style, are done by a 'Suho'.

"There's no address" he points out and then blinks at his empty hand when Seulgi who was finally done with his shit, takes her phone back.

"Ah, yeah, there's a lot of, uhh, secrecy around it. It's kind of underground." Jongdae takes another shot of soju and Sehun decides to follow suit. "But there's this flower shop in Hongdae, called 'Joohyun's flowers'. If you go in there and ask for Suho, they'll know what you mean."

"Flower shop...?" he asks just to make sure he heard that right.

Jongdae laughs.

"The perfect cover, isn't it? Nobody suspects when they walk into a flower shop that there's heavy needle action going on just downstairs."

Sehun winces at the phrase 'heavy needle action' but drops it.

'Joohyun's flowers', huh? Well, he might just have his Sunday plans sorted then.

*

Even though he wanted to have his tattoo done as quickly as possible, waiting till Sunday turns out better for him, as he spend the whole Saturday curing his hangover.

After his little talk with Jongdae they continued drinking and Sehun might have gone a little overboard, as he can't remember getting back into the apartment. Apparently Chanyeol gave him a piggyback ride to the cab and then from the cab back to his room, for which he teased him as Sehun winced at the brightness in the kitchen while taking aspirin.

And now it's Sunday morning, and Sehun is standing in front of an innocent looking flower shop in Hongdae. It's not big, not by a long shot. There's flowerpots filled with pansies, begonias and daffodils, all different colours, right underneath a big window through which he can see more flowers inside. The pale green letters above it say "Joohyun's flowers" in English alphabet, written in a nice cursive.

Sehun takes a deep breath and anxious, but excited, walks inside.

The door opens with a slight creak and there's a sound of a bell right above him. The sound seems to get the attention of a girl behind the counter, and for a split second Sehun wonders if it's said 'Joohyun' but then to his surprise it's Park Sooyoung that looks back at him.

"Good Morning" She throws a polite smile at him and looks back down to her phone.

"Mornin'" Sehun mumbles back, hesitantly approaching the counter, which has Park Sooyoung looking up again.

"How can I help?"

"Umm, I'm here to see Suho...?"

Sooyoung smiles wider now and reaches under the counter to get some sort of book out.

"Name?" she asks, going through the pages and Sehun realises it's a calendar with appointments.

"Oh I don't... I don't have an appointment."

She gives him a confused frown.

"Jongdae send me...?" he adds reluctantly, hoping it'll be enough.

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow and stares him down for a few seconds, before closing the book and putting it back under the counter.

"Wait here" she turns around and walks through a door that probably leads to the back.

Sehun sighs, and turns around to look at the place.

There's flowers all over, on the floor, on shelves, even some flower pots with leafy green plants hanging off of the ceiling. Even the couple of paintings on the walls are of flowers. It feels good to be surrounded by this much colour, and honestly, he might buy some flowers for his room in this place. He hopes they come with the flowerpots, the cute pastel patterns on them would definitely match his room style.

"You must be Sehun, yes?" it's a different female voice this time, and Sehun turns around to find a slightly shorter woman smiling at him.

"Yeah, that's me" he smiles nervously, walking up to her.

"I'm Irene" she looks him up and down, and Sehun suddenly feels self conscious about his outfit. Which, he shouldn't, it's quite tame today, an oversized baby blue and pink hoodie with a Jigglypuff on his chest. Chanyeol gave it to him for his birthday last year, because apparently he reminded him of one. 'Especially when you're irritated' he said, 'yeah, just like that' he laughed when Sehun frowned at him. The hoodie was still nice, so he wasn't that mad. He's also wearing baggy jeans with two cutely drawn bunny heads on the knees. Maybe that's what makes the woman chuckle, as she lingers her eyes on the bunnies.

'Irene'. Sehun remembers that name, that was the other person whose tattoos were showed on the Instagram page.

She motions for him to follow her and starts walking towards the door that Sooyoung disappeared behind before

"I'm... here to see Suho?"

"Yeah, Jongdae told us you may come today. Suho should be here soon, he doesn't usually arrive on Sundays before eleven." she chuckles as she leads him to a staircase and starts walking down it. "By the way, those?" she turns briefly and points at the bunnies on his pants. "He's gonna love them"

Sehun blinks and glances at his pants.

"Do you have a reference picture for your tattoo?" she ask.

He gets his phone out of his pocket as Irene approaches a computer.

They're in a place that looks drastically different than what Sehun expected. The walls are white and the lights make the place even brighter, probably to compensate for the lack of windows. There's some plants here too, but no flowers, only succulents and other thick leafed greens. There's two separate chairs on two sides of the room, one surrounded by neatly arranged different types of designs, and the other by messily pinned ones, some only holding by a corner. The messy station must be Suho's, as the designs are mostly of flowers.

He shows the picture of the cherry blossom flower to Irene and she tells him to send it to her email and to sit down on one of the chairs. Sehun does, looking at all the designs on the wall as Irene prints out what Sehun supposes is his cherry blossom.

Well, Sehun might as well take off his hoodie, looking as his tattoo is going to be on his arm. He's in the process of pulling the piece of clothing off when he hears the door open and Irene saying 'Hey Myeon'.

"Hey Joohyun-ah, do you know if- oh, there's a customer already?"

Sehun freezes with his hands mid-air, head still in his hoodie.

He knows that voice.

"... Junmyeon-hyung?"

There's a laugh that also sounds familiar.

"Ah, so it is you! When Jongdae said I'll be tattooing a 'pastel-y Sehun' I thought it might be you."

What.

Sehun doesn't even move, too shocked by processing the new information. So, Junmyeon. Junmyeon, the same Junmyeon that wears boring turtlenecks and tells awful puns, works as a tattoo artist. An incredible tattoo artist, apparently, from what Sehun has seen. An underground, incredible tattoo artist who tutors business students for free, and whose parents own one of the biggest law firms in East Asia.

"Are you going to stay with your hoodie on your head for the whole process?" Junmyeon sounds like he's closer now, and there's a tilt of amusement in his voice. And, right, Sehun still hasn't moved.

He finally takes the hoodie of and turns to the side.

"Holy shit, what-"

There stands Junmyeon. But he's not wearing a boring black turtleneck, no, instead he has a simple black T-shirt on.

And well, that wouldn't be that surprising, it's just a T-shirt.

The thing is, both of Junmyeon's arms are covered in tattoos. And by covered Sehun means _covered_. They start at the wrists, going up, different pieces around each other, and then disappearing underneath the sleeves of the T-shirt. And that's not even all. Above that, there's some designs on Junmyeon's collarbones, going slightly up, and then ending on his neck, not all the way up, but high enough that even a collared T-shirt wouldn't hide them. And there's a lot of questions coming into Sehun's mind. Like, so many of them. But his brain short-circuits and what comes out is

"You told me you have anemia"

Junmyeon looks confused for a second before he bursts out laughing. Irene gives them both a questioning look, but doesn't say anything.

"I didn't lie about that, I am anemic" he shrugs "It's just... Not the reason why I cover up"

Sehun nods even though his mind is still racing. He can't take his eyes off of Junmyeon's arms. before he knows it he reaches his arm out and touches one of the designs. He rubs his fingers on them which elicits another chuckle from Junmyeon.

"They're real"

"They sure are"

He still doesn't take his hand off of Junmyeon's arm, instead moving it up to touch the tattoos there. And wow, Junmyeon's arm is quite firm. He wraps a hand around his upper arm absent minded. Junmyeon's muscles automatically flex a little and Sehun gasps, almost squeezing it. Damn it, Junmyeon definitely works out, you don't get arms like that over just being healthy and having a good diet. And the tattoos definitely looked hot on the defined muscles and Sehun can only imagine what those arms could do to-

He realises what he's doing when Irene coughs quietly. He moves his hand away as quick as he can and glances at Junmyeon, who only looks at him with an amused tilt to his mouth and a raised eyebrow. God, if Junmyeon didn't know Sehun's gay before, he definitely will now.

It's so weird to see Junmyeon's face, the same face that scrunches so much when he laughs, that looks ridiculous with glasses on, attached to this body. Sehun has to look away, his head still trying to connect the pieces, trying to make sense of this whole situation, but failing miserably.

Irene hands the printed out flower design to Junmyeon and he looks at it.

"Ah, that's really pretty" he puts it down on the table next to the chair Sehun is sitting on, where all the tattoo 'things' are. "Very pretty, definitely suits you"

Sehun blinks. Is Junmyeon saying that-

"You know, with the whole pastel persona. It's going to look good."

Oh, right. It's pretty, and so are Sehun's clothes. Not Sehun is particular. Just his style. God, he needs to get it together. It's just Junmyeon. So what if he suddenly looks a thousand times hotter, which definitely caught Sehun off-guard, he can't lose his head suddenly just because his business tutor is hot. And owns an underground tattoo studio.

"Where is the flower going on, and how big do you want it?"

Sehun points to his right arm, and shows the scale with his thumb and index finger.

Junmyeon guides his arm to prop it on a weird stool with a leathery cushion on it, which Sehun supposes is for the exact purpose of supporting limbs that are being tattooed on. He leaves for a second to bring more ink over, and also drags another chair close up. He puts the ink on the table, and Sehun can see five different shades of pink, all pale and pastel.

"I really like your pants by the way" he points at the bunnies as he puts latex gloves on, and Sehun shuffles his feet awkwardly. He can hear Irene giggling in the background.

"I told him you would" she comments. "Show him your bunny"

Junmyeon laughs as he finishes putting in a fresh needle into the tattoo machine. Then he stands up and rolls one of his sleeves up. Sehun thinks it's absolutely unfair, as he can see Junmyeon's whole bicep now. His mouth dries.

"Here he is" Junmyeon turns his arm a bit, and right there, under his shoulder is a black and white tattoo of a bunny, standing on it's back feet and... smoking?

"Why is it smoking a cigarette?" Sehun frowns his eyebrows a bit, leaning in so he can see more details. He really likes the way it's designed.

"It's not a cigarette" Junmyeon says at the same time Irene says "It's weed"

They both laugh and Sehun just looks between the two of them. This day is just surprise after surprise.

"Joohyun- I mean, Irene designed it. Said it looks like me-"

"It is you" the woman is much closer now, passing Junmyeon what looks like a tub of Vaseline. "I designed it especially with you in mind, you bunny" She boops him on the nose after Junmyeon takes the tub from her.

"You're saying that as if you're not a bunny yourself" He flicks her forehead lightly and she laughs again, going back to sit behind the desk.

They behave like they're quite close. Sehun tries not to think about it too much. Even if they were, it's none of his business.

Junmyeon puts his glasses on, disinfects his gloved hands and sehun's skin with some sort of alcohol smelling liquid, and then spreads Vaseline on his upper arm. Now that he's wearing glasses it's even more confusing for Sehun to get his head around the fact that this is Junmyeon. He feels like it's some sort of weird fever dream.

"Okay, you ready? It's going to hurt a bit"

Sehun nods, already clenching his teeth. The needle meets his skin and he grimaces, but deosn't flinch. It feels weird, like a cat scratching him, but non stop, and in one place.

"You alright?" Junmyeon asks, and Sehun realises he closed his eyes, so he opens them, and sees Junmyeon glancing at him, in between wiping the excess ink off of his skin.

"Yeah. It's alright"

Junmyeon sends him a reassuring smile, and goes back to looking at the tattoo.

"So, any particular meaning for this cherry blossom?"

Sehun hesitates. Well, yeah, he didn't only pick that because it was pretty. Well, it helps that it matches his aesthetic, but it did have a meaning behind it, too. The thing is, Sehun really doesn't want to get into it.

"Umm.. It's, uh."

Junmyeon seems to understand.

"It's cool if it's personal. people get personal tattoos all the time." He looks at the reference picture, squinting a little, and then goes back to tattooing the design. "So, how do you know Jongdae?"

Sehun is glad for the change of topic and he latches onto it.

"My friend is one of his clients. Apparently they're close, because Kyungsoo invited him to the outing celebrating his promot- Oh my god it's bleeding???"

Sehun only now looks at the actual tattoo since Junmyeon started, and with the excess ink that Junmyeon wipes away now and again, he also wipes away blood.

"It's piercing through your skin. It's going to bleed a bit." He looks up at him with a concerned expression. "Are you not okay with blood? You can look away if you need to."

"No it's fine I just-" and maybe it is a bit stupid that he's surprised that there's blood involved in the process, it does make sense for it too. "I was just a bit surprised, I guess. You can continue."

Junmyeon looks at him for another second but then starts tattooing again. He keeps the small talk going, and it makes Sehun feel like it's one of their tutoring session again. That's it until he looks down and sees any piece of Junmyeon's skin that has a tattoo on it. And while Junmyeon is distracted with focusing on the design, Sehun let's his eyes wander. He notices that all of the tattoos, at least the ones that he can see, are done with black or grey ink. There's not even a splash of colour anywhere, and Sehun must wonder if it's a coincidence or a deliberate choice. Maybe there's more colourful tattoos other places on his skin. He let's his mind drift for a second, looking at Junmyeon's collarbones. The designs on there are simple flowers, just outlines of petals and leafs in black ink, symmetrical on both sides, but Sehun can tell that it goes further down, maybe even onto Junmyeon's chest. He questions if there's more tattoos on Junmyeon's chest, or his abdomen. Maybe his back. He probably has a nice back, he is working out after all. His chest must look nice too, a defined abs, firm muscles...

"All done!" Junmyeon's happy voice wakes him up from his thoughts, and Sehun realises that he just spend the last twenty minutes not only checking Junmyeon out, but also _fantasising_ about what he might look like without his shirt on.

Sehun glances down. The design is replicated flawlessly. The flower looks delicate, even if the skin around it is irritated. It's still bleeding though, and it's also a bit darker than he expected.

"It's gonna look a bit weird at first" Junmyeon starts, as if he's reading Sehun's mind. "The ink is pretty bright so the blood is staining it quite a bit. But it should settle in a few days." He spreads some sort of cream on the tattoo and wraps it in cling film. "If you care for it correctly it's going to heal quickly, too."

He explains how to care for the tattoo and gives Sehun a tub of the cream he used on him earlier. Sehun grabs his hoodie and puts it on carefully, not to rip the cling film.

"So what do you think?"

"It's... I really like it. Thank you."

Junmyeon sends him a blinding smile. His glasses are off again and Sehun thinks he has no place looking this cute.

"Great! Let me just get you the receipt and you can take it upstairs and pay for it there!"

Junmyeon comes up to the desk where Irene is writing on a piece of paper. She slides it to him when she's done, and he takes the pen from her and makes a correction. She lifts a brow at him but doesn't comment.

"Here you go." he hands it to Sehun. "So, see you on Friday? Usual time, usual place?"

Sehun can only nod, still having trouble connecting this Junmyeon to the Junmyeon he meets every Friday to revise business. Junmyeon says goodbye to him and he turns around to get up the stairs. He can hear Irene saying 'So, he's tall.' and Junmyeon responding with laughter, before the door closes behind him, then he's back in the flower shop.

His mind is too unorganised and all over the place than he doesn't remember to look at the receipt before he's handing it to Sooyoung. She tells him the price and he tilts his head, confused.

"That's... cheaper than I was expecting." he takes his wallet out and counts the bills.

"Yeah, the friends and family discount is 40%, it takes off of the price quite a lot" she takes the money from Sehun's hand while Sehun can just stand there, still. Friends and family discount? Was that what Junmyeon was writing on the receipt? He doesn't know why but he suddenly feels a blush on his cheeks.

He leaves the flowershop, even more confused. He knows what he has to do. He takes out his phone and calls Jongin.

"Jongin-ah, are you free right now?"

***

"You're shitting me"

Jongin looks at him like he's insane. Seulgi also. It just so happened that the two of them were out shopping together when Sehun called. Now they're sitting in McDonald's, eating their lunch and listening to what Sehun is telling them.

"I'm absolutely serious." Sehun finishes his cheeseburger and follows it up with some diet coke.

"I mean..." Seulgi takes on of his fries and dips it in barbecue sauce. "One of the rumours about him was that it was tattoos... But everyone dismissed it as soon as they heard it. Me too."

"Well. It is tattoos And a whole tattoo studio too, apparently."

They all sit in silence for a minute, processing the information.

"God, he's buff too" Sehun sighs, remembering how Junmyeon's muscles felt underneath his hand. "Not like, Chanyeol buff, but still, it's nice." He's staring at his fries. "The tattoos look nice, you know? When they're on muscles." Maybe Sehun should start working out a bit more. Going to the gym once every week keeps him lean, but not exactly strong. "I bet he's strong." he adds.

He hears some snickers around him and looks up only to find both Seulgi and Sehun covering their mouths and exchanging looks. Sehun blushes.

"What? I'm just saying!"

"Oh, is does Sehunnie have hots for his tutor~?" Jongin teases and Sehun rolls his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous, you know I don't crush on straight guys."

"Do you know he's straight?" Seulgi asks.

"I mean... That's the best bet. 90% of people are straight."

Jongin scoffs.

"That sounds fake but okay"

"Yeah, you would be surprised how many people are bisexual Sehunnie" Seulgi steals more fries from him but he's full already so he doesn't mind.

"Speaking of bisexuals, Chanyeol is going to join us soon"

Sehun fights not to sigh out loud and nods.

"Nice." he says, because well, after all Chanyeol is still his friend. It's just sometimes seeing him is a bit much, especially when his feeling as emotionally confused as right now. "Can you guys... Not tell him about Junmyeon tho?" he lowers his voice a bit, feeling guilty. "I feel like the tattoos and the studio are secret for a reason, and well, Chanyeol..."

"Oh god, yeah." Jongin nods, understanding what Sehun is getting at. "If Chanyeol knows, it only takes a day for the whole school to know."

It's no secret that Chanyeol just can't keep secrets. Sehun doesn't hold it against him, because Chanyeol is fully aware of it, and doesn't get mad when people don't tell him things.

It takes Seulgi finishing all of Sehun's fries for Chanyeol to get there. He rides in on his skateboard, and Sehun gets second hand embarrassment when the workers tell him to not do it inside the building.

"Hello to my bestest, most amazing friends!" Chanyeol props the skateboard against the wall and sits down next to Sehun. He has the biggest grin on his face. He's wearing a hoodie and some shorts that reach just past his knees, which is basically his outfit all year around. Sehun always wonders, both during summers and winters, how is Chanyeol surviving in this outfit.

"What got you in such a good mood?" Seulgi looks amused at Chanyeol's behaviour.

"I'm glad you asked, my lovely lesbian friend." he reaches out for Sehun's coke and Sehun can't help but ask himself why do people always take his things. Then again, he never says anything about it. "You know the girl from my music history class?"

They all nod.

Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows.

Seulgi gapes.

"No way you hooked up with Jihyo!"

Chanyeol smiles triumphantly.

"Oh, yes way! God, her boobs are like-"

"Ugh, straight sex." Sehun groans, making a face.

"Oh Sehun I literally had my mouth on your dick before, I'm pretty sure you can listen to me talk about some titties" Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

Sehun wants to say 'oh so we're talking about it now?'

"Eww, don't remind me" he says instead, avoiding Chanyeol's eyes.

Chanyeol makes an exaggerated offended noise and puts his hand on his chest.

"Wow, that hurt. I can't believe my own friend thinks I give bad head. I trusted you Sehun!" he's joking now and Sehun rolls his eyes and slaps him on the arm.

"Whatever, enough about that" Seulgi waves her hand at the two of them "tell me more about Jihyo" she rushes Sehun out of his seat so she can sit next to Chanyeol.

"Well, for starters, she's an amazing kisser"

"Going to the bathroom" Sehun mutters under his breath and ignores the fact that Jongin gives him a pointed look, that follows him all the way until Sehun disappears behind the door.

He takes a deep breath. The bathroom is, thankfully, empty, so he doesn't feel weird when he runs cold water and splashes some on his face. He props his hands against the sink and takes a deep breath, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

"It doesn't matter anymore." And he's not lying, he know he's not, he's over everything that happened in the spring. But sometimes it still-

The door opens so Sehun starts washing his hands.

"You alright?" it's Jongin's voice. He turns to look at him.

"Ummm, yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he does his best to act like he doesn't know what's Jongin getting at.

"Don't know" he's still observing Sehun carefully. "You just looked like something was bothering you."

And Sehun hates that Jongin knows him so well, that even when he doesn't know why Sehun would be upset, he knows something is not right. Sehun doesn't know if he loves that quality or if he hates it.

"Well of course something was bothering me. I needed to pee." he chuckles and comes up to Jongin to ruffle his hair. "You're always worrying for nothing." He links his arm with Jongin's. "Come on, let's be nice friends and listen to Chanyeol's boob talk"

Chanyeol does end up talking about Jihyo's boobs for the next twenty minutes, but Sehun mostly doesn't listen. Instead he finds himself thinking about Junmyeon. Well, more specifically about Junmyeon's tattoos. He tries to come up with different reasons for why the man might hide them, as well as his studio. He knows Junmyeon's parents are rich, high level rich, so it's not like Junmyeon needs the money.

All he comes up with is just different guesses, so he decides to just ask him the next time he sees him.

Which, turns out being earlier than expected in the end.

It's Tuesday and he's in the middle of having a dance session with Jongin and Seulgi. They're teaching him one of the choreographs that they're practising for one of their upcoming dance shows and Sehun is proud of himself when he learns it quite quickly. By the time they take a small break to drink some water, Sehun's body is full of endorphins. He's tired and sweaty but he doesn't care, because this is when he's at his happiest.

"I think someone's here to see you" Jongin says to him while handing him a bottle of water.

Sehun turns, confused, and then he spots him.

Junmyeon is standing by the door, leaning his back on the wall, eyes on him. For a second Sehun thinks that Junmyeon's gaze travels on his body, but it's over too soon to be sure, Junmyeon smiling and waving at him instead.

"Hyung?" Sehun suddenly hates that he's sweaty. He comes up to Junmyeon, pushing his hair back from his face so that it doesn't stick to his forehead.

"Hey. I heard from your friend Chanyeol that this is where I can find you" Junmyeon starts. He's wearing a turtleneck again, but now Sehun knows what's underneath it. How did he ever think this thing is boring? Once you know what it covers it's the most exciting piece of clothing he's ever seen. "I didn't know you can dance."

"Yeah, kinda do it as a hobby" he shrugs.

"You're really good at it."

Sehun can feel a drop of sweat sliding down his neck, and this time there's no mistaking the way Junmyeon's eyes follow it until it disappears underneath his tank top.

"Anyway" he looks up at Sehun's face again, with the most innocent smile. "Someone booked the usual tutoring classroom next Friday."

"Oh.. Do you want to reschedule?"

"I can't. My schedule really is full on weekdays." there's a pout on his face. "So I was wondering if you'd be alright coming over to my house instead?"

Sehun blinks a couple of times.

"I have an office kinda room in my house" Junmyeon follows up. "A desk, all the business materials gathered together."

Sehun isn't sure why he feels so nervous about it. It's a normal suggestion, makes perfect sense, too.

"Yeah. Sure, that sounds cool"

"Great." he takes out his phone. "Give me your number then and I'll text you my address."

Sehun takes the phone and puts in his number, before handing it back to the tutor.

"See you Friday, Sehunnie!" he waves again and then leaves.

Sehun looks at the door for some time, before Jongin comes up to him and swings an arm around his shoulders.

"'Sehunnie', huh?"

"Shut up!"

***

The week seems to stretch longer and longer.

It doesn't help that for whatever reason he keeps seeing Junmyeon around campus more too. Before he maybe only saw him once or twice, but now it's like he's everywhere.

"It's because you're looking out for him" Seulgi has told him which he pointedly ignored, deciding that Junmyeon probably just has a lot to do around the university recently.

Eventually Friday does come though, and Sehun glances at the address and then at the building in front of him.

Of course it was in Gangnam. Junmyeon was rich, he shouldn't be surprised that he's standing in front of very expensive looking apartment complex. Still, he feels out of place here. He shuffles awkwardly in place, looking at the clock. It's still 13 minutes until the time he's supposed to be there, so there's nothing to do but wait for now.

"Oh, hello Sehunnie!"

There's Junmyeon coming up to where he's standing, smiling at him widely.

"Junmyeon hyung?" What was he doing outside?

"I was scared I'm late coming back, but looks like you came a bit early" he giggles. "I'm just back from the University." he says, because apparently he can read Sehun's mind by now. "I really like your outfit by the way. The hoodie especially" He points at Sehun's jumper and smiles.

Sehun looks down at his outfit. There's a minimalist drawing of a bunny on his jumper, which he definitely didn't choose on purpose because he was meeting Junmyeon. He's also wearing black jeans with heart-shaped holes on his thighs.

"Thanks. I try" he sends a smile back and Junmyeon beams.

They get inside the complex together. It even has a security guard and a reception. They take a lift to the third floor and Junmyeon leads him to a door. Instead of a key, the door has a number pad, and after Junmyeon inputs a code, they get inside.

"Doesn't look like Joohyun is home" Junmyeon mutters to himself and Sehun frowns. Do they live together or something? Are they really that close? He's about to ask when he sees it.

On the wall in front of him there's a photo. A big, framed photo of Junmyeon and Irene. Junmyeon in a suit, with Irene linking her arm with him, holding a bouquet of pink roses.

And wearing a wedding dress.

Sehun gapes, taking off his shoes absentmindedly, and getting closer to the picture.

To get rid of all of his doubts, there's a smaller frame next to the big photo, holding a document inside. A marriage license, to be exact, issued to 'Kim Junmyeon' and 'Bae Joohyun'.

"Do you want tea or coffee?" Junmyeon shouts from the kitchen and all Sehun wants is an explanation. He can't stop staring at the picture. Both of them are smiling and radiant.

God, Sehun thought there is a possibility of them maybe being together, but marriage? Isn't Junmyeon too young to get married? And have a whole damn apartment, too? He's still in University for god's sake.

"Sehun?" Junmyeon peaks his head out and Sehun stops staring at the picture and turns to Junmyeon.

"Tea please" he manages a small smile and comes up to where the other man is.

The kitchen is spacious and bright. There's a Breakfast bar, and that's where Sehun decides to sit while Junmyeon sets the water to boil and prepares two mugs.

"How old are you hyung?" Sehun asks carefully when Junmyeon turns around.

"I'm 26" Junmyeon answers, propping himself on his elbows on the other side of the table.

26 is a bit old to be on his second year of a masters degree. To be fair Junmyeon might've done his military service first or something. Still, that's a couple of years added there.

"So..." he doesn't really know how to go about it. Should he just ask? "You and Irene-ssi, huh?"

"What about me and her?" he turns around when the water finishes boiling and pours it into the mugs.

"You're... Married."

Junmyeon giggles

"Here's your tea." he passes the mug to Sehun "I'm going to get out of this thing" he points at his turtleneck "and then we can start our session."

He disappears behind a door, leaving Sehun even more confused than before. What was with that reaction?

It only takes him a couple of minutes to come back with a black T-shirt and grey sweatpants on, and Sehun suddenly forgets all about Irene, and the marriage, as he takes one look at Junmyeon's arms again.

"Let's go" Junmyeon grabs his own mug and starts walking, with Sehun mindlessly following behind.

He decides not to address the matter further, at least not for now. The marriage certificate made it clear, and Junmyeon didn't deny. He didn't exactly confirm it either, but it's not like it mattered anyway. Sehun didn't have the right to feel the disappointment.

Forty five minutes into the session Junmyeon decides it's time for a short break, and that's when Sehun gets some courage to get a different question out of the way. He pondered on it for a few minutes, turning on the desk chair he was provided with, left and right, with his legs firmly on the floor, so only his upper body moves.

"So." he finally starts, giving the chair a double spin, like he always does on the library chairs. "Why exactly are you hiding your tattoos hyung?

Junmyeon looks up, expression curious too. Maybe he didn't expect Sehun to ask that question. Or maybe he expected him to ask a different one.

"My mother is very concerned with what kind off... image I put to the world." he puts his glasses down on the desk. "That's why the studio is underground and I don't use my real name."

Sehun nods slowly.

"Did she tell you to do that?"

"What?"

"Did your mother tell you to hide the tattoos and the studio?"

Junmyeon starts laughing then, a loud laugh, throwing his head back and everything and instead of annoyed Sehun finds himself smiling at it.

"No, it's more of my own precaution. She doesn't know about either."

Sehun is in the middle of nodding as a reply, when the words actually reach him.

"She doesn't know about your tattoos?! But how, you have so many!" he points at Junmyeon's arms and neck to make a point.

Junmyeon shrugs.

"I don't know. I got my first one at 16, it was a stick and poke done by Jongdae, and it just went downhill from there. I hid every single one from her." he has a smile on his face still, but it's barely reaching his eyes. "Until I started wearing the ugly limb trap everywhere, just in case there's someone she knows there." he's probably referring to the turtleneck, Sehun realises. Hah, limb trap.

"How long are you planning on hiding them then?" he doesn't understand how Junmyeon could live his life like this, hiding such a big part of himself.

"Probably until I move." he looks like it's no big deal, the smile never leaving his face. "Mother would disown me if she found out, and this house is under her name."

"Wow..." that's not a way to live a life, Sehun thinks, but if Junmyeon got through it for so long and it works for him, he's no one to judge.

"Anyway, enough about me, let's focus back on the business, yeah?"

They go through essay tips this time, Junmyeon giving him helpful information about different teachers and how much they check if the references are legitimate or not. It seems like a lot of extra hassle can be taken off of Sehun's hands thanks to it.

They finish with another small quiz that Sehun completes in just under ten minutes, and while waiting for Junmyeon to grade it he starts looking around Junmyeon's 'office'.

It looks less like an office and more like a bedroom without a bed in it. There's a TV and a couch, as well as two bookshelves. Sehun rolls closer on the chair, towards the bookshelves and notices that only one of the carries books, the other is filled with what looks like video games and DVDs.

There's quite a collection of those, he realises, and as he's looking at the titles he recognises some of his favourites. Some of them are games for different consoles, to, so he wonders if the cupboards underneath the TV were hiding the different consoles.

"I didn't know you play video games." Sehun says after Junmyeon shows him the graded quiz.

"I don't have that much time for it usually, but I do try to play from time to time." he starts putting away all of the papers and Sehun knows he should pack his and get going, but something in him wants to make this longer.

"You have all the tekkens! I only have the newest one." Sehun lets out a sigh. "It's been ages since I played the sixth one."

Junmyeon looks at him for a second, quietly finishing putting his documents into the drawers.

"Well." he starts, taking off his glasses. "It's been a while since I played that game too, to be honest." he takes a look at the TV and then back at Sehun. "Do you have any plans for after this session?"

"Nope" Sehun replies, probably to quickly, but Junmyeon doesn't seem to notice.

"Do you wanna play some Tekken 6 then?"

"Sure" he replies nonchalantly even though this is exactly what he wanted Junmyeon to suggest.

The grin send his way makes him feel a peculiar kind of way, but he decides to push it to the back of his brain for now, as something to analyse later. Or not analyse at all. Probably the latter. To distract himself from weird thoughts he follows Junmyeon to the couch and sits comfortably, resting against the back of the couch, while the older puts the game on and then also seats himself down next to Sehun.

"Why do I feel like your favourite character would be Lili?" Junmyeon comments suddenly, controller in hand, passing Sehun the other one.

Sehun opens his mouth in surprise, taken aback by the sudden, and a very accurate guess. His favourite character in the game series was in fact Lili.

"How did you know?" he can't help but inquire.

Junmyeon shrugs, dealing with logging into his account and setting the game up, not really looking at Sehun.

"You just seem like a Lili guy."

Sehun watches him for a few moments with wonder. Spending time with Junmyeon was proving to uncover more and more surprises about the other man. It seemed almost like every time they talked, a new surprise was just around the corner.

"What's your favourite character then?" he asks after a moment, bending his legs on the couch, under himself, to be more comfortable. The loading screen comes on.

"Asuka"

"Really?" Sehun's eyebrows shoot up. Another surprise. "But her fighting style is so... boring?"

"Are you kidding me?" the tutor turns to him energetically "Asuka is extremely strong. She's a badass!" Junmyeon looks so excited about it Sehun can't help but follow with a smile. "Plus, her and Lili have quite the story, too."

"Lili and Asuka hate each other, don't they?" that's as much as Sehun remembers from their cut scenes from the game. Lili always wanted to beat Asuka up.

Junmyeon shakes his head and even wags his finger.

"No, no. You got it all wrong. Lili is completely in love with Asuka, but the only way she can express it is by beating her to the curb. She just... has trouble expressing emotions I guess"

Sehun frowns, unconvinced. Yeah, he didn't pay any extra attention to any cut-scenes but that seemed like quite a stretch.

"That's ridiculous."

"No it's not! I'm gonna prove it" Junmyeon enters story mode and chooses his character as Asuka while prompting Sehun to chose Lili, which he was going to anyway.

They play the game for some time, with Sehun winning most of the matches. Junmyeon is good at the game too, but Sehun spend months, stuck in his university accommodation with Chanyeol, playing the game on repeat. (In between other things.)

The cut scene with Lili and Asuka doesn't suggest much, so Sehun is still unconvinced, until Junmyeon decides to change it to the newest edition of the game instead, because according to him it shows Lili and Asuka's relationship more. This one has definitely more material to work it, and after some time of playing that one, with addition of Junmyeon's enthusiastic commentary, Sehun has to admit it.

"Oh my god. Lili totally want's Asuka's ass."

"I told you so. They-" he stops abruptly when the sound of keys turning in a lock and the front door opening can be heard. Sehun immediately stills and then looks at his phone. Shit, he's been here for quite some time now, definitely overstaying his welcome. "Anyway, as I was saying, they-" Junmyeon tries to continue, obviously not bothered that his wife just came back home, but Sehun definitely wasn't happy about the fact.

It shouldn't matter, and he knows it. He's just here to get help with getting his degree and maybe get a friend along the way. The fact that Junmyeon is married shouldn't change things.

And yet.

"Hyung, it's quite late now. I should go home." he interrupts before Junmyeon has a chance to say anything else.

Junmyeon pouts at him and looks at the game and then back at him. It seems like he's considering something for a second, but then his usual smile is back on his face.

"Alright, don't let me keep you then." he stands up and Sehun does so too after him.

"Thanks for letting me play Tekken with you. It was fun."

"No, thank _you_. I rarely have a chance to play with someone that's not a twelve year old online or a computer bot" he chuckles and then gives the TV screen another tentative look before turning his gaze back to Sehun. "If you ever just want to play, even on other days than just our usual day, hit me up." he grins.

"Didn't you say you're a busy guy?" Sehun can't help but tease, with an equally teasing grin.

"Hmm... For you, I might be able to free up some time~" he winks in Sehun's direction and if not for the shy giggle that follows right after, Sehun could swear Junmyeon was flirting with him. And, well, if not for the fact that he has a wife, too.

Talking about said wife, as they leave the room to get to the front door, they run into Irene.

"Oh, hello Sehun" she looks surprised to see him, but pleasantly surprised more than anything. "Didn't think I'll see you here at this time." she sends Junmyeon a look that Sehun can't quite decipher.

"We ended up playing Tekken after the session" Junmyeon interjects, walking past his wife to carry the empty tea cups that Sehun didn't even notice him carrying, into the kitchen.

"Ah" Irene nods with understanding. "I'm glad he has an actual person to play with, instead of fighting children online." she says with a lower tone, so that Junmyeon can't hear her from the kitchen.

"Do you not play video games, Irene-sshi?" was this something he had that Irene didn't? Not that it was any sort of competition, but the possibility of having a side of Junmyeon that Irene doesn't made him bit excited.

Bad sign, but for now he decides to ignore it.

"Please, call me Joohyun-noona. You already know my real name anyways, so there's no need for all that." she waves her hand to emphasise her point. "And I do, just not the kind Myeon plays."

Junmyeon comes back to stand beside Joohyun.

"She plays LoL" he says with a face that shows clear distaste. "Can you believe it? A LoL player under _my_ roof?"

Joohyun rolls her eyes and Ignores Junmyeon's remark.

"Anyway, Sehun, would you like to stay for dinner?"

Sehun looks between the two. They don't look very touchy now, but Sehun doesn't want to stay long enough to find out if they engage in displays of affection in front of other people.

"Thank you noona, but I'm going to go now." he walks a few steps back, still looking at the pair not to be rude, and starts putting his shoes on. "Thanks for the game again, hyung" he directs it to Junmyeon when he sees the other opening his mouth, probably to insist. Or maybe not, but Sehun doesn't want to take his chances, as something tells him it would be harder to say no to Junmyeon than to Joohyun.

"See you later Sehunnie" Junmyeon smiles brightly at him.

"See you hyung. See you Joohyun-noona." he responds and turns around to leave.

He takes his phone out and for a second considers calling Jongin, but quickly decides against it. No, this is one of those things he's going to have to think through by himself. Maybe he could tell Jongin next time he sees him.

That ends up being a bit later than Sehun expected. because of an upcoming essay deadline, he spends the whole weekend writing and writing, not really having time to meet with any of his friends. Chanyeol is out for the whole weekend, too, so Sehun ends up having the whole place to himself, which usually he would use to blast music and maybe dance, but now he's writing in the living room, instead of his own bedroom.

What surprises him the most though, is that Junmyeon starts texting him casually. At first it's just small questions about his essay progress, along with some encouraging messages and emojis that have Sehun laugh. But somewhere along that they started talking about some more video games, some TV shows and even music. Surprisingly their tastes were pretty similar, maybe not that much music-wise, but with everything else, they managed to breach some mutual topics.

Still, even his Monday is filled with lessons and studying. Thankfully, on Tuesday Seulgi and Jongin manage to book the dance studio again, and Sehun would never miss that, even if he had 5 different essays to write.

When Tuesday comes around they start their dancing session with enthusiasm, not even putting time away to talk properly. This seems more important though, just letting his body go, move to the music. He feels as if with every sweat drop it's stress that's actually leaving his body. Jongin and Seulgi teach him more of their choreography, too, which gets a bit harder now, but Sehun can still keep up, thankfully.

It's during their first break that both Seulgi and Jongin sit in front of him with curious looks on their faces.

"So." Jongin starts "how was your little tutoring session at Mr. Hot Teacher's house?"

"He's not a teacher." Is what Sehun decides to say first. Yes, he knows Jongin is kidding, but still, he feels a bit weird talking about Junmyeon, so he ends up stalling. "It was okay. We, uh, played some Tekken after the session."

"Tekken, huh?" Seulgi raises her eyebrows and gives him a pointed look. "Is that what kids are calling it these days?"

Sehun rolls his eyes at her comment, but doesn't respond, as his phone goes off with a text message sound. Its a text from Junmyeon. Well, a picture, of two open books, with some notes in front of them, and a coffee cup on the side. He follows it with three sleepy emojis. Sehun can't help but smile. He's about to take a sneaky picture of the studio, but suddenly the phone is not in his hand anymore.

"You guys text each other pictures?" Seulgi has his phone now, and before he can even reach for it, Jongin has him in a hold, laughing at Sehun's struggles to get the phone back.

"Oh my god, give it back!" damn Jongin and his muscular body, he was definitely stronger than Sehun.

"You have him saved with an emoji? That's so cute!" Seulgi comments and keeps scrolling up through the texts. Sehun gives up on trying to escape and fights the blush threatening to cover his face instead.

"What's the emoji?" Jongin asks, his chest rumbling with laughter against Sehun's arm.

"It's a bunny~" Seulgi turns the phone to show Jongin the name that Sehun saved Junmyeon under, which was just 'Junmyeon-hyung' and a bunny emoji. It was a spontaneous decision, the emoji was just right there.

"Oh my god, you text a lot" Seulgi keeps scrolling and scrolling.

"We don't text that much!" He knows that they did exchange quite a few texts but it couldn't be that many.

"Sehun, believe me, for you this is a lot. You only reply to me with emojis and single words" Sehun rolls his eyes at Seulgi's remark, and then again when Jongin agrees with her.

"Whatever guys. Can I have my phone back now? It's rude to leave people on read"

Jongin finally lets him go and Sehun grabs his phone back.

"You care about being rude AND you don't want to leave him on read?" Jongin gasps dramatically. "You totally have a crush!"

Sehun really tries to not blush, but the heat creeps onto his face anyway.

"Shut up, no I don't!"

"You do! Oh my god, you're blushing!"

"Sehun has hots for the teacher~" Seulgi dropped in in a form of a little song.

Sehun totally didn't have a crush on Junmyeon. Because he knows from experience that crushing on unavailable guys is not fun. And Junmyeon, with being straight an married, was like, double unavailable.

"I don't crush on straight guys." is all he goes with, turning around so that his friends can't see his face.

"Why are you assuming he's straight?"

"Oh I don't know Jongin" he starts with a sarcastic tone "Maybe because when I went to his house there was a big wedding picture of him and a woman he works with, alongside a marriage certificate?"

Both of his friends just look at him silently for a few seconds, blinking rapidly.

"He has a wife?" Seulgi asks first, still looking shocked.

"Yu~p" Sehun puts the stress on the p, popping his lips, to make a point.

There's a pause in the conversation.

"Well, he could still be bisexual." Jongin shrugs, as if that would change anything. "He's giving me a lot of bibes."

A confused frown covers Sehun's face.

"What the fuck is bibes"

"You know. Bi vibes. Bibes."

Sehun pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes with a big sigh.

"Even if he is bisexual, he still has a wife."

"Maybe he wants to experiment though" Jongin puts in again, completely unhelpfully. "Imagine. You could show him the way of the cock"

"Oh my god Jongin" This time it's Seulgi that slaps Jongin on the arm. "We can't encourage Sehun to be a homewrecker."

"I'm just saying!" Jongin puts his arms up in defence. "Maybe he wants to fool around? I never seen him wear a wedding ring, have you?"

Sehun opens his mouth to scold Jongin for saying things like that, but then stops himself.

It was true, he never did see a wedding ring on Junmyeon's finger. He doesn't know about Joohyun though. Plus, that didn't have to mean anything.

"Whatever Jongin." he decides to just reply to the message Junmyeon. Instead of just snapping a picture of the studio, he stands up and faces his phone at the mirror. In the background, while still sitting, Seulgi and Jongin automatically reach their hands out with peace signs, knowing that Sehun is taking a selfie.

When he's satisfied with the result he sends the picture to Junmyeon with some dancing emojis.

A text comes back quite quickly. It's just Junmyeon saying 'have fun' but it makes Sehun smile brightly again.

" 'I don't have a crush' my ass" Jongin mutters in the bckground, but Sehun ignores him.

The rest of the week passes by just as uneventfully. Sehun tries to finish his essay before Friday, so that Junmyeon can look it over and comment about any things that Sehun should fix or change in his work.

And that's exactly what Junmyeon does when Sehun finally comes over again at the end of the week. Technically the classroom was free this time, but both of them wanted to play games again after the session, so during texting each other over the weekend (which they were doing regularly now) they decided on having the session in Junmyeon's house once more.

"This is good" Junmyeon says after reading through Sehun's work, glasses on his face and a cute, focused frown in between his eyebrows. It took him around 15 minutes to read through the whole of Sehun's essay, and for some reason Sehun spend all of that time watching Junmyeon's face absentmindedly.

"Is it?" he sits up straight, realising that he was leaning his head on his palm, with his elbow against the desk.

"Yeah. It should get between 70 to 75 percent."

Sehun frowns. Yeah, that was enough to pass, as a passing grade was 50%, but it was far from 'good'.

"Sehunnie, 70 percent is a good grade." Junmyeon says, as usual reading Sehun's mind somehow. "You should be proud. You're doing more than enough to pass this year." Junmyeon is wearing a reassuring smile. Somehow it works, and does make Sehun feel a lot better, so he smiles back.

Just like that Junmyeon's own smile widens and his eyes almost disappear because of it.

"Cute" Junmyeon mutters under his breath, but Sehun still hears it. "You should smile more, Sehunnie. It suits you" Junmyeon comments then, and Sehun is so taken aback, he doesn't really know how to respond.

"W-What?"

But instead of replying, Junmyeon stands up and walks to the side of the room with the TV.

"We should play some games since we're done!" he says with an excited tone to his voice.

Sehun blinks a couple of times, still processing Junmyeon's comment, but then he stands up to and quickly joins Junmyeon, sitting down on the couch while the older man picks a game. He's standing in front of the bookcase with games, eyeing them all carefully, while Sehun eyes Junmyeon's arms with the same intensity.

His sleeves are a bit shorter today, so more of his tattoos (and muscles) are visible, and Sehun can't help but admire the individual designs.

"Do your tattoos have meaning?" Sehun finds himself asking.

"Some of them do. Most of them don't."

"Can you tell me some that do then?"

Junmyeon turns to look at him.

"Will you tell me the meaning of yours~?" he's teasing, probably, but Sehun still thinks about it. He looks down at his own, now completely healed cherry blossom flower and wonders.

"How about... We play a game, and if you win I will tell you the meaning of my tattoo, and if I win you tell me the meaning of one of yours?"

Junmyeon considers the proposition for a few moments.

"Deal" he says in the end "But if you win and choose a tattoo that has no meaning, you can't chose again until the next time we play."

"That... seems fair."

They shake hands on their deals and a moment later Junmyeon takes a box off of the shelf.

"Mortal Combat" they say at the same time, both determined. Sehun almost laughs, because Junmyeon could not chose a better game for this. This one is his speciality.

"I'm gonna kick your ass hyung" he says, grabbing the controller.

And after almost an hour of the battle mode he really does. To be honest Junmyeon did win a few of the in-between battles, but in the end Sehun wins by a landslide.

"Ha!" Sehun throws his hands up in triumph "I told you I'm gonna kick your ass!

Junmyeon gives him an amused look and puts his controller away carefully.

"Looks like I've been defeated" he sighs fake-dramatically. "Okay then, take your pick" he reaches out his arms in Sehun's direction.

Sehun lets his eyes glide over the tattoos, trying to guess which ones look like they could have some meaning, but all of them look rather random.

"How about the first tattoo you ever got?" he asks. The first one is bound to have some meaning, right?

"Now that's cheating. You're meant to point to one" Junmyeon giggles.

"Come on hyung~" Sehun can't help but whine, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. "I won the game, can't you tell me~?" he doesn't even realise that he automatically starts using his aegyo voice, until he hears the amused laugh.

"If you think aegyo will work for me, then you're wrong"

Sehun pouts harder.

Junmyeon sighs.

"Alright, you win" he turns his hands, so that his wrists are visible. he points to an English word on one of them "this one says 'Sane'" then he points to another English word on his other wrist. "this one says 'Strong'".

The tattoos are a bit faded and quite wonky, and Sehun remembers when Junmyeon said that he got them done at 16, by a stick and poke, by his friend. It explains why it looks quite amateur.

"I got them both at the same time, 10 years ago."

The overall meaning is there, but Sehun still wants to know why Junmyeon got these exact words tattooed on him.

"What do they mean to you?" he asks. He turns on the couch so that he's sitting facing Junmyeon, and curls his legs up.

"I guess they're a reminder?" Junmyeon looks at the words, a slight smile on his face. It's one of those automatic ones, Sehun thinks, as it looks less genuine. "That I'm not what my mother tells me I am."

He looks up and must see the questioning look on Sehun's face, because he continues.

"I was a bit, well, emotional when I was younger, you know? I cried a lot as a kid. And my mother didn't like it too much" he shrugs, expression staying the same. Still a smile. "I cried a lot and she called me weak every time I did. Or every time I said something made me upset, or feel bad in general."

Sehun can only listen with a held breath. He can't imagine crying and not immediately being coddled. Even if his mother had her problems, whenever Sehun cried she would immediately soften and comfort him.

"I also panicked a lot, too. Sometimes when I was stressed it seemed as if the world was closing in on me." Junmyeon continues, rubbing the tattoo that said 'Sane' with his thumb. "It's funny to think about, I got full on panic attacks over nothing" he chuckles. Sehun thinks it's anything but funny. "She called me crazy a lot during those times, which I guess I was a bit" he chuckles again, what about, Sehun has no idea. "Jongdae suggested those words as a tattoo idea. He said I am not what my mother says I am. That I'm not weak or crazy." he sits up straighter and clears his throat. "So I decided he's right, and stopped. I stopped being weak and crazy, I'm not that person anymore." A full face smile again.

Sehun wonders if Junmyeon interpreted his friends intentions in the right way, if he understood what Jongdae actually wanted to say with those tattoos.

"Sehunnie you look terrified" Junmyeon pokes him on the cheek with a laugh.

"Sorry hyung, it's just..." he doesn't even know where to start. "Your mother, she..."

"She's a bit mean sometimes, but she mostly does things for my own good"

Sehun doesn't think calling your child weak for crying and crazy for showing signs of needing help can class as being 'a bit mean'. He doesn't really know how to say that though, emotional stuff not being his forte.

"Come on, it's not that deep" Junmyeon laughs again. Sehun tries not to speculate how authentic that laugh is. "let's play some more Mortal combat, yeah?" he hands Sehun the controller, and turns his face towards the TV again. He starts setting up the game again and Sehun reaches for his own controller slowly.

The game begins and at first Sehun is still a bit distracted with Junmyeon's earlier story, so he loses a few games in a row. Junmyeon starts teasing him for it though, telling him that he's not trying at all, so Sehun's competitive spirit wins in the end, and he focuses more on the game. Junmyeon seems okay anyway, still joking and not seeming like he's too affected by their conversation. In the end Sehun wins again, and even though this time they weren't playing for the prize, he's still celebrating triumphantly.

"I will find a game in which I am better than you, you'll see!" Junmyeon says, laughing, and then he reaches out his hand to ruffle Sehun's hair, which absolutely does NOT make Sehun's heart skip a bit.

"Hyung, do you have a favourite tattoo of yours?" Sehun asks the question that only just now popped into his head.

Junmyeon hums thoughtfully.

"Usually my most recent tattoo tends to be my favourite. I got one like five days ago and to be honest, it is currently my favourite." he stands up from the couch. "Wanna see?"

Sehun nods.

The he regrets it in panic when suddenly Junmyeon starts lifting his shirt.

And holy fuck, Junmyeon is hot.

And Sehun already vaguely (ha!) acknowledged that, but suddenly it's hitting him in the face again, with every inch of Junmyeon's skin that gets revealed.

He has abs, and god, its so defined Sehun's mouth feels dry. There's some tattoos peeking out from the line of Junmyeon's jeans, meaning they're probably on his hips and Sehun has to physically pry his eyes away so that his mind doesn't wander.

Junmyeon doesn't really go as far as his chest though, only lifting the shirt on one side, high enough to show his ribs, and then he turns to the side.

"Here she is"

There's tattoo of a bird, mid flight. The head of the bird looks more realistic, while the wings look more like a sketch. The skin around it is a bit red, just like it was on Sehun's tattoo when it was still healing.

"The lines are very fresh and thick, so I can still feel the outline of it every time I touch it."

"Really?" Sehun doesn't even realise how breathless he is. He reaches out his hand, not really thinking about it, to check if the lines of the tattoo really can be felt.

The tips of his fingers meet Junmyeon's skin and he can feel the muscles tensing underneath them. He traces along the outline of the tattoo, and quickly confirms that indeed, the outline is tangible. It's probably the still healing scar. He traces the whole outline of the bird slowly, and only when he sees the shiver running on Junmyeon's skin, he notices that neither him nor Junmyeon are breathing. He looks up only to be met with the gaze of Junmyeon observing his face. They eyes meet and Junmyeon doesn't look away, and it feels as if his stare is burning into Sehun. He's not quite sure what that look means though, not being able to read it, so he puts a second fingertip on Junmyeon's skin, then a third, and soon all of his fingers of that hand are touching Junmyeon's skin. He slides them down, across the tattoo, and Junmyeon breathes in. Sehun's slides a bit futher down, fingertips barely on the tattoo anymore-

There's a knock on the door.

"Myeon-ah?"

Sehun retracts his hand immediately, as if Junmyeon's skin was burning him, when he hears Joohyun's voice. Junmyeon lets a breath out, which sounds more like a sigh and lets go of the material of his shirt, letting it fall down.

"Come in" he says, and it's like the intense look was never there, the soft smile back on his face.

"Seungwan called and- oh, hello Sehun-ah" she smiles at him and Sehun smiles lightly back, muttering a 'hello Noona', not really able to look her in the eyes. God, what would she think about him if she knew the kind of thoughts he has about Junmyeon? Her greeting would probably not be as friendly. He can't even focus on what Joohyun is talking to Junmyeon about, to engrossed in his own mind, thoughts racing and second-guessing Junmyeon's reaction. Maybe there was no intense gaze? Maybe it was just pure confusion and questioning? Fuck, Sehun needs to stop thinking with his dick and start thinking with his head.

"... what do you think, Sehun-ah?"

He looks up and sees both Joohyun and Junmyeon looking at him expectantly. He spaced out so much that apparently he didn't even notice that Joohyun was asking him a question.

"Hm?"

Joohyun giggles.

"We're putting a Halloween party on here. You should come."

A whole party in the Kim-Bae household. Sehun isn't sure if he could survive it alone.

"You can bring your friends, too." Junmyeon (reading Sehun's mind again) adds. "The more the merrier, really."

Well, that did make it a lot better. If he could have Seulgi and Jongin with him (and well, probably Chanyeol, Yerim and Kyungsoo too). Still, he's not so sure how much of Junmyeon and Joohyun's PDA he wants to witness.

"I don't know..."

"Come on, it'll be fun" Junmyeon ruffles his hair again, and well, Sehun is a weak, weak man.

"... Alright then, yeah why not."

The smile he gets in return is definitely worth agreeing.

"Great!" Joohyun clasps her hands together. "Now, Sehun-ah, have you ever smoked weed?".

***

"So I said 'yeah'."

Seulgi and Jongin look at him and then between themselves.

"You said 'yeah'?" Seulgi asks, just to confirm it.

"Well. I might've said that I, uh. Smoke regularly." he avoids their eyes, just so he can't see their judgement.

They're in McDonald's again, which at this point is just their usual meetup point. Chanyeol is late, like always, so Sehun takes this time to fill his two other friends in.

"Sehun. Sehun you've never even seen weed in real life."

"Hey, that's not true!" he replies, offended. "I have seen Chanyeol roll a joint once!"

Jongin rolls his eyes.

"But you never _smoked_. Not even a ciggy."

"It's not like I don't want to." he shrugs "It just never really came up. I am curious about it, it's not like I'm getting pressured to it."

Jongin and Seulgi exchange a look again.

"What? I do want to try it!"

"I don't doubt that" Seulgi offers "Just... You seem to... Kind of..."

"Like you wanted to show off in front of your crush" Jongin fills in.

"Exactly." Seulgi nods to agree with Jongin. "Plus it seems like you said it... you know"

"so you're not one upped by Junmyeon's wife." Jongin fills in again.

He looks at Seulgi. Then at Jongin.

"I hate you both. And you definitely spend too much time together." he grabs his diet coke off of the table, and instead of drinking through the straw he takes the lid of and drinks like he's drinking from a cup. Mostly to hide how red his face got from embarrassment, not that he'll ever admit it.

Because, well, maybe, in some way, his friends are a tiny bit right.

"Whatever. So are you going to come with me to the party or not?" he mumbles into his cup.

"Yeah, sure"

"Definitely wouldn't miss you trying to smoke a joint for the first time in front of people who think you smoke all the time" Jongin's laugh sounds through the McDonald's and Sehun hides more behind his cup.

The party is definitely going to be an experience.

***

In the following two weeks before the party Sehun makes sure not to make the same mistake again of having Junmyeon expose his upper body. He doesn't even risk it to ask Junmyeon about his upper arm tattoos, after he wins in their video games tournaments twice in a row. Instead he picks some tattoos that are on his forearms and doesn't make the mistake of touching them again. Both the tattoos don't have any meaning though, neither the outline of the earth just under his elbow, nor the rose in the middle of his forearm.

The Saturday of the party Sehun contemplates for some time what he should wear, but in the end decides just on a wolf onesie. It's not the most complex of costumes, but he decides it's enough, especially after seeing Jongin and Kyungsoo's costumes.

"That's it?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

Both of them are only wearing black, with faces painted white and heavy black eyeliner on the outline of their eyes.

"Like you're one to talk Mr. Onesie." Kyungsoo gives him an unimpressed look.

"Big bad wolf" Seulgi chimes in. She's dressed as Harley Quinn, at least some effort put in the costume. "Are you on the hunt for bunnies, wolfie~?" she teases.

"Just one bunny" Jongin very unhelpfully adds as they high-five, successfully teasing Sehun again.

He ignores them, and the curious looks both Kyungsoo and Yerim (who's dressed as a Hershey's kiss, bless her) send him, instead coming up to the door of Chanyeol's room and knocking.

"Chanyeol, come on, the uber is almost here."

Instead of an answer he could hear some things falling down in Chanyeol's room, then a muttered 'fuck' and a couple of seconds later the door swung open.

"No fucking way" Seulgi said as soon as she saw him. "People are going to think we're wearing couple costumes!"

Chanyeol had his hair spray-dyed green and a full face of Joker make-up.

"Whatever, it's too late for any of you to change, the uber is here, let's go" Sehun didn't even spare Chanyeol a longer glance, just hurried everyone out of their shared flat and into the car.

The whole way there he couldn't help but feel anxious, both about his first time smoking weed and about his friends possibly embarrassing him. Also, should he have put in more effort into his costume? Well, it's definitely too late now, either to change or call it off, as the taxi stops in front of the apartment complex and they all make their way out.

"Wow, your tutor is fucking loaded, Sehunnie" Chanyeol comments, making an appreciative whistle sound. Sehun just rolls his eyes and leads them to the floor that Junmyeon's apartment is on. Before ringing the bell he considers asking his friends not to embarrass him, but he's scared it would elicit only more teasing and in turn have the opposite effect of what he wants, so he just takes a deep breath and presses the buzzer.

After just a few seconds the door is opened, the sound of music seeping into the hallway.

"Sehunnie!" Sehun doesn't even have time to see what Junmyeon's costume is, as his tutor suddenly puts him in an embrace, arms tightening around Sehun's middle. Sehun has to physically stop the confused, startled sound from leaving his mouth. "You're here!" Junmyeon moves away, but his left hand is still resting on he small of Sehun's back. "And you must be Sehunnie's friends! Come in" he moves inside, still leading Sehun with his hand on his back. His hand is still there while he shakes hands with each of his friends, exchanging pleasantries.

Sehun takes this time to check out Junmyeon's outfit. He's dressed as the Phantom of the opera, unfortunately covering all of his tattoos. Even the ones on his neck are barely visible, as he chose a high collar shirt. The half-mask is secured with some strings, and Sehun only now can see the redness of Junmyeon's eyes, which means he probably was already smoking. Which, well, could explain why he was so touchy, his hand still on Sehun's lower back.

He really hopes the hoodie of his onesie is covering the redness of his face.

The house is decorated very well, Sehun notices. There's spiderwebs and skeletons, and a lot of black see through fabric covering the walls. (Also covering Junmyeon's wedding photo, but Sehun tries not to think about that). There's also some sort of dimmers on the lights, making them darker than usual.

Only when they get to Junmyeon's living room does Junmyeon move his hand away.

"There's alcohol and snacks on the table, and in the kitchen, help yourselves to whatever you need" he's speaking to all of them but mostly looking at Sehun. "We just finished smoking but we're going to roll some more in maybe like half an hour?" he turns his head when someone calls him from the kitchen. "Looks like I'm needed, make yourself at home!" and then he's off.

There's quite a group of people in the living room, some siting on the couches, some standing and chatting. A lot of them have really cool costumes too, and Sehun feels weirdly out of place.

"Oh, that's Jongdae" Kyungsoo spots his friend and makes his way with Jongin to greet him. Sehun almost grabs Jongin to stay with him, to make him less nervous, but he decides against it. He still has Yerim, Seulgi and Chanyeol at his side.

"Oh my god, that is the sexiest vampire I've ever seen during Halloween" Chanyeol suddenly comments. Sehun looks in the direction Chanyeol is looking and notices a guy, about Junmyeon's height, dressed as a vampire, holding a drink in one hand and a phone in the other. He has to give it to Chanyeol, the guy is attractive.

"Don't harass straight guys at Junmyeon-hyung's party, I'm begging you Chanyeol." Sehun doesn't even have to lower his voice as the music is loud enough for only their group to be heard.

"No way a guy that looks like that is straight" just as Chanyeol says the words, another man, also dressed as a vampire and a bit taller than the first one, comes up the the guy and while whispering something into his ear, slides his hand to put it on his ass. The vampire number one smiles smugly and puts the phone in his pocket, his hand moving to vampire-number-two's neck.

"See! Definitely not straight." he sounds triumphant and Sehun does a double take.

"Chanyeol. They're obviously a couple"

But Chanyeol is already moving in the two guys' direction.

"You say a couple, I say double challenge" he shrugs and then he's off. Sehun can see Chanyeol introducing himself to the two men.

"Horny bastard. He's going to get slapped in the face" Sehun sighs and looks for a place to sit instead. "Girls, there's-" he turns around to tell Yerim and Seulgi that there's a free space on one of the couches, but is met with just the dancer girl there. "Where the hell did Yerim go"

"She saw someone she knows, Amber or something? They're catching up." Seulgi links her arm with him. "Don't worry, I won't leave you alone."

At least he has Seulgi with him.

"Sehun. Oh my god, Sehun." as soon as they sit down he can feel Seulgi tense by his side and squeeze his arm. "That's Park Sooyoung. Park fucking Sooyoung is here what the fuck"

In the door of the living room, dressed in a tight police-woman outfit, there is Park Sooyoung indeed.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, she works with Junmyeon-hyung and Joohy- Ouch!"

"What the fuck Oh Sehun" Seulgi's short but still painful nails dig into his skin "You have to warn me about things like that!"

"Anyone here willing to go with me to get some more soda?" Sooyoung asks the room but it doesn't look like anyone wants to go, as she gets mostly ignored.

Sehun takes a look at Seulgi and then back at Park Sooyoung. He sighs. He doesn't want to be left alone at a party, but he's also a good friend.

"Seulgi, you wanted to get something from the shop, right? You should go."

Seulgi sends him a panicked gaze.

"What the fuck are you doing" she whispers through her teeth.

"This is your only way to talk to her you useless lesbian, now go" he answers at the same volume.

Seulgi turns around and smiles, a bit awkward, but Park Sooyoung gives her a big smile back.

"Hey, I've seen you around university, you're a dancer, right?"

"Y-yea" Seulgi answers dumbly and then she's being dragged away by an enthusiastic Sooyoung, who immediately engages her in conversation.

"I should get a best friend award of the year" Sehun mutters to himself. But now, he doesn't have anyone with him. He might as well have a drink.

He shuffles awkwardly towards the table with all the alcohol, and after thinking for a few seconds, he decides fuck it, and pours a shot of a few different drinks in a glass, topping it all with diet coke. He tries it and tries not to scrunch his face. It's strong, but maybe that's what he needs to get through this party. He gets a few more sips in.

"Sehun-ah, it's nice to see you." a familiar voice sounds next to him.

He turns and sees Joohyun giving him a smile, her eyes hid behind big sunglasses. Sehun thinks she's meant to be dressed as Audrey Hepburn. And well, he doesn't find women attractive at all, but he's also not blind, he can tell that Joohyun looks beautiful, while he's standing there like an idiot, with a stupid onesie on him. He tries not to be bitter about it.

"Hello Noona. Thanks for inviting me" he takes another sip of his drink, already feeling the effects slowly. "The party is great, I love, uh, all the decor." He looks around again, appreciating.

"It is great, isn't it? Junmyeon spend so long setting it all up." she pours herself some whiskey in a cup and then also fills it with diet coke. She already looks quite drunk, a bit wobbly on her feet, but her hold on the drink is quite stable.

"Hyung did all of this?" now Sehun likes it even more. He thought both of them had a hand in it, it seems a lot to do for just one person.

"Yeah, I'm really not good at things like that" she laughs "My artistic talent starts at designing tattoos and ends at tattooing. He's very artistic though."

"His tattoo work it's... Something else." Sehun's thumbing nervously at the rim of the cup.

"His singing is also amazing" Joohyun adds and Sehun looks up with curiosity. He'd love to hear Junmyeon sing. "He can play the piano quite good, too. His dancing is not that great, but don't tell him I said that" she chuckles, and Sehun can't help but chuckle too. She seems so easy going, it's hard to dislike her. "He said you're quite the dancer though."

"W-what?" he's taken aback by that comment. Junmyeon only saw him dancing once, and Sehun didn't think it was something impressive enough to mention to his wife. "I- it's just a hobby. Nothing serious..."

"He said you're definitely good enough to be a professional."

"Um" well, now Sehun is definitely blushing. He didn't really know how to react to that compliment, compliment from Junmyeon, but said to him through Joohyun. "He didn't even see me dance for that long..."

"Well, he did talk about it a lot. So it must've left quite the impression on him."

Sehun stares at his cup some more and then decides to just down the rest of his drink, not wasting time to pour himself another one. He's not sure how to reply without making it obvious that he's overthinking that comment. He doesn't have to come up with a random topic to fill the silence though, as just when he takes a first sip of his fresh drink, Junmyeon appears seemingly out of nowhere.

"Crisis averted" he says to Joohyun, and when she raises an eyebrow in question he continues "Heechul tried to bake edibles again."

Joohyun makes an annoyed sound.

"Oh my god, I told him to stay away from the oven, excuse me for a second" she turns around and with a quick step walks to the kitchen.

Junmyeon's left hand finds it's way to the small of Sehun's back again.

"How are you enjoying the party?" he asks. He's holding a can of beer in his right hand, and takes a slow sip after asking the question.

Sehun watches his Adam's apple bob.

"It's nice. All my friends abandoned me though" he pouts into his cup. The alcohol is making him feel warmer by the minute. Maybe a onesie wasn't the best of ideas.

"Yeah, I saw Yerim talking to Amber in the kitchen, and, I think Seulgi, leaving with Sooyoungie to get some more coke? And, well, your friend Chanyeol over there... Keeping himself busy"

Sehun looks in the direction he saw the two vampire-men being last time, and he's immediately embarrassed by the sight. Chanyeol is leaning over, close to both of them, visibly switching between flirting with one or the other. How was he not slapped yet, Sehun has no idea.

"Oh god, why is he like this" Sehun immediately looks away "I'm sorry about him, of course he'd try to hook up with a couple."

To his surprise Junmyeon starts laughing, the sound immediately putting a small smile on Sehun's face.

"Don't worry, Baekhyun and Yixing, they're not a couple, it's... Complicated. But let's just say if he does hook up with them both tonight, that's a tame night in Baekhyun's book." he gives the three a glance so Sehun looks again. And well, he didn't notice before, but both the men definitely don't look offended by Chanyeol's attention, quite the opposite really. "So it should be me apologising, if my friends end up corrupting your friend"

"He's already corrupted to the bone" Sehun sighs into his drink. He's definitely tipsy already, as one would be after drinking two drinks that were half filled with mixed spirits.

Junmyeon laughs again, the hand on Sehun's back travelling up to in-between his shoulder-blades and then back down to the small of his back. Sehun can feel shivers run through his while body. Maybe it's the alcohol that makes him a bit braver, but he leans in closer to Junmyeon, their sides touching.

Junmyeon looks up and Sehun doesn't look away. There's that same look in Junmyeon's eyes and Sehun feels like they're alone in Junmyeon's office room again. Junmyeon's hand slides to Sehun's side, as he places it on Sehun's hip, the one that's not currently pressed against Junmyeon. His finger draws a small circle on there, and it feels as if its directly on Sehun's skin and not through the material of Sehun's onesie. What is it about Junmyeon's eyes that keeps him this hypnotised, he doesn't know, but all he can do is look back. It should be awkward, just looking at each other and not saying anything, especially that the time seems to have slow down drastically.

Junmyeon opens his mouth, probably to say something, and Sehun's eyes move down, now staring at Junmyeon's lips.

"Do you.." Junmyeon starts but it seems like history is repeating itself, as Joohyun's voice sounds through the living room.

"Joint time!"

Sehun turns to look at her and can see that she's looking in their direction, and then, oh god, starts walking in their direction too. He tries moving away from Junmyeon, but his hold on Sehun's hip is tight.

"Sehun-ah" Joohyun doesn't seem to care about Junmyeon's and Sehun's proximity, doesn't even seem to notice it. She does look quite drunk though. "We're going to be smoking some more, I'm going to put some extra weed especially for you!"

"Umm.." he blinks. Oh god, the weed. Now, he knows he can't really overdose from smoking too much. But he also knows that too much weed, especially during a first time smoking, is not the best of ideas. "Great..!" He tries to sound enthusiastic about it. Joohyun seems to believe him.

"You, me and Myeon can have a separate joint! Those guys don't smoke as much as we do, so a lot for them probably would not even affect us" she laughs, and stumbles a bit. God, just how drunk is she?

"Haha, yeah." he answers awkwardly, because what else can he say? He already dug his own grave.

Joohyun turns around with a cheer and Sehun can feel the panic slowly rise up.

"I'm going to, uh, get some fresh air" he says in Junmyeon's direction, not brave enough to look at him. He moves away from Junmyeon and his hand on his hip, immediately wanting it back, but he decides to just walk through the living room towards what looks like a balcony door.

It is, and, thank god, no one is there. He immediately closes the door behind him and slides down against the wall, sitting on the balcony floor. It's a bit cold, so he downs the rest of the drink, hoping the alcohol will keep him warmer.

"For fuck's sake" he whispers to himself. He needs to get a hold of himself. Some people are just touchy to their friends. That's it.

The door slides open and Sehun is ready to stand up and escape, but he relaxes again when he sees it's just Jongin.

"Damn, dude." his friend says as he sits down next to him. "That was some serious bedroom eyes."

Sehun slumps against Jongin's shoulder with a loud sigh. It was so embarrassing, if Jongin noticed how intensely he was looking at Junmyeon, who else did?

"God, I need to learn how to control myself in public." he says against Jongin's arm.

"I mean, yeah, but I'm talking about both of you. It literally looked like you were eye-fucking. I could cut through the sexual tension with a knife."

Sehun rolls his eyes. Jongin always made things so much more dramatic that they actually were. He shifts up to contradict Jongin, but Jongin continues speaking.

"You didn't see him when you were talking to Joohyun, but damn. He was still looking at you, while his wife was right there. He was literally staring you down, didn't even look at her."

Sehun looks down at his feet, trying to rationalise whatever Jongin just told him.

"He's just drunk and high." he starts playing with the empty cup in his hands. "You know how straight guys are. Gay men finding them attractive is a novelty for them. They like the attention of it."

"Listen" Jongin puts his hand on Sehun's shoulder, twisting his body a bit to face him. "No straight person I have ever met has only gay friends. I talked to most of the people at this party, and believe me they're all gay and bi." he puts his other hand on Junmyeon's other shoulder. "That man is not straight."

"Jongin." Sehun starts his reply determined. He doesn't want to think Jongin's argument through. It's safer for him to just assume Junmyeon's as straight as a ruler. "I am not going to try to seduce a married man"

Jongin lets out a 'pfft' dismisively.

"You're no fun. Live a little! Smoke weed, do drugs, destroy a marriage!"

"Oh my god, Jongin." He can't help but laugh at the ridiculous things Jongin is saying "If Seulgi heard you she'd slap you across the head"

Just as he finishes saying that the door slides open again, and this time Sehun's heart skips a bit, as Junmyeon's head pokes through.

"Oh, sorry, am I interrupting...?" He looks between Sehun and Jongin, the latter's hands still on his shoulders.

"Not at all" Jongin immediately has a cheeky grin on his face, as he stands up and moves towards the door. "I was just on my way to find Kyungsoo, excuse me" he shuffles past Junmyeon and when he's behind the older man he does a crude gesture, with his fist and his tongue in his mouth.

Sehun fights hard not to roll his eyes at him.

The door closes again and now it's Junmyeon who slides down to sit next to him.

"You alright?" he asks with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, just. Had to breathe a bit" he shrugs, deciding to stare at the railing of the balcony. "Is Joohyun okay? She looked quite drunk."

"She's fine. She always gets drunk early on but she can last hours like this"

Sehun nods in reply. There's some silence between them, but Sehun can hear some shuffling next to him. Next thing he knows there's a joint and a water bottle in front of him. The joint is thin, much thinner than the other one, that Junmyeon is holding in his other hand.

Sehun raises an eyebrow and looks up. Junmyeon is smiling at him softly.

"For your first time smoking weed it's better not to overdo it." he says and Sehun immediately feels a blush on his face. Of course Junmyeon has seen right through him. "So I put a bit less in here. Made the roach thinner as well, so the smoke isn't too much on you."

Sehun stares at the joint and then at Junmyeon again.

"How did you..."

"I suspected that you might've not said the full truth when Joohyun first asked you, but confirmed it when she was talking to you about smoking just now" he reaches to his pocket and takes out a lighter.

"How come you always read my mind" Sehun mumbles as Junmyeon bursts out in a short laugh.

"Unfortunately I can't read minds. You always have a poker face on, so I wish I could read yours though."

"No you don't" Sehun answers without thinking twice about it, and then immediately mentally slaps himself. Alcohol always made him so chatty.

"Oh?" There's surprise in Junmyeon's voice. "Why? Do you think mean things about me Sehunnie~?" he pokes his finger at Sehun's cheek.

"Yeah, every time you make a lame pun I think 'why am I even friends with this guy?'" he's looking away. Junmyeon starts laughing and Sehun is determined to not look at him even more, knowing it's the kind of laugh that turns Junmyeon's eyes into crescents. "Now give me that joint, let's smoke"

"Impatient" Junmyeon replies making a 'tsk' sound. "I'm going to start your joint, the first few pulls have the most paper so the smoke is heavier, it's going to be easier on your lungs."

He can hear the sound of a lighter and then Junmyeon inhaling and exhaling. Then again. The strong smell of cannabis fills the air.

"Here you go." Junmyeon hands Sehun the lit joint. Their fingers brush. "Pull the smoke into your mouth, and then inhale as if you were taking a deep breath."

Sehun tries not to think about the fact that Junmyeon's mouth was on the same place his mouth is touching now, as he follows Junmyeon's instructions. Pull the smoke in, then inhale. The smoke scratches at his throat and burns his lungs, and he tries really, really hard not to cough. He almost makes it, but in the end as he's exhaling the smoke, a few coughs escape him.

"Here" Junmyeon opens the bottle of water and passes it to Sehun, who takes a few slips thankfully. "Try to take smaller pulls next."

He does just as Junmyeon advised, taking a few small pulls, while Junmyeon lights his own joint.

After about the third pull Sehun is starting to feel it.

At first it's just the feeling of his whole body getting relaxed. He didn't even know how much tension there was in his muscles, until he slumped against the wall completely. After another pull the world spins a bit, and it feels like his brain is one millisecond behind everything that's happening. It feels weird. Weird, but nice. He takes another two pulls. The feeling only gets stronger.

"How is it?" Junmyeon asks, and it feels as if his voice is behind a glass but also right in Sehun's ear at the same time. He turns to look at Junmyeon but the older man is still sitting at the same distance. Also, Junmyeon asked him a question. What was it again? He doesn't think it was that important. Not as important as the barely visible tattoos poking above Junmyeon's collar.

"All your tattoos are covered today" Sehun pouts, sadly eyeing Junmyeon's long sleeves.

"You look really sad about that" Junmyeon answers, amused.

"Yeah. They're nice" Another pull. Breathe in and out. Junmyeon also smokes his joint, and fuck, it looks hot as hell. Sehun could watch Junmyeon smoke all day.

"Show me yours then" Junmyeon mutters.

Sehun unbuttons the first few buttons of his onesie. He's wearing a tank top underneath, so it's still okay. He pulls his hand out of the sleeve. He takes another pull of the joint.

"It's so pretty" Sehun says dreamily, looking at his own tattoo. He appreciated it a lot before, but suddenly it's like he realises that this beautiful work of art is going to be on his body forever. And it's Junmyeon who put it there.

"It is. That's why it suits you a lot" Junmyeon reaches out and runs his fingers on top of Sehun's tattoo, in a similar manner as Sehun did, back in Junmyeon's office room. There's no intensity this time, as Sehun can only chuckle.

"Because of my whole pretty-pastel persona?"

"Hmm..." Junmyeon moves his hand and moves the hoodie of the onesie off of Sehun's head, looking at his face. "Yeah, that too."

Maybe if Sehun was completely sober he would get red in the face and turn away. He isn't sober though, and everything feels a bit funny, so he giggles and looks back at his tattoo, not completely registering what Junmyeon implied.

"I like it so much." he inhales some more smoke. The joint is almost finished. "Every time I look at it I think about you. It's like, 'oh wow, my friend made this and it's on my arm!'"

"This is the second time you called me that."

Sehun looks up at Junmyeon's face, only to find the softest gaze directed at him.

"Called you what?"

"Your friend. I'm glad I'm not just your tutor anymore"

"Of course not. You're like, in my life and all. You're my friend" Sehun says surely.

Now Junmyeon is the one to look sheepish. He smiles widely though, his eyes doing that wonderful thing.

Sehun's heart skips a beat.

He smiles back just as wide.

Junmyeon's gasp is so quiet, Sehun isn't sure if he didn't just make it up.

"Who knew all I needed to get you to smile like that was to get you high?" Junmyeon says with the softest voice Sehun ever heard anyone speak in, and then unexpectedly boops his nose. "Boop"

Sehun snorts as he boops back.

"Boop"

They just sit there for a few seconds, smiling at each other. It doesn't feel near as intense as before, and instead of making Sehun's mouth dry, it makes his stomach feel all funny. His heart skips again. Is it the weed?

"Before, in the living room." He starts, after what feels like a full minute of just them smiling at each other. "You started saying something, before Noona came in. You said 'Do you...'" It's been gnawing at the back of Sehun's head since it happened.

Junmyeon looks a bit taken aback by the question.

"Do you... Do you..." he looks around, at the balcony railing, then at Sehun's onesie, then at his own hand with the ending of the joint. "Do you... wanna go for a walk?"

Something is telling Sehun that that might not be what Junmyeon wanted to originally ask, but he's too high to care. And, well, a walk sounds very exciting.

"Yes! A walk. Let's go for a walk." he quickly takes a few last pulls of the joint and then kills it in the ashtray that's filled with cigarette ends.

He waits for Junmyeon to finish his own joint and then stands up with him.

"Where are we going?" Sehun slides open the balcony door and then lets Junmyeon leave first. He follows right behind him as they move through the living room to the hall, to put their shoes on.

"I don't know. There's a playground near by. I doubt there'll be any kids there at this hour?" he opens the door. Sehun briefly wonders if Junmyeon shouldn't inform Joohyun that he's heading out, but the thought is gone as soon as it appears. They slowly take make their way down the stairs. For some reason Sehun can't stop giggling every now and again, probably influenced by the weed. As if it's contagious, every time Sehun giggles, Junmyeon does too.

When they walk past the security guard they both try to keep straight expressions on their faces, trying their best to look as sober as they can. The guard doesn't even spare them a second glance, busy looking at the computer monitor. As soon as they're outside the door of the apartment complex they both burst out laughing, Sehun leaning on Junmyeon's shoulder.

"Okay. Okay, let's go!" Sehun exclaims after they calm down and starts walking. Junmyeon catches him by the wrist and pulls him in the opposite direction.

"It's this way" he says with amusement, tugging Sehun along.

It's quiet outside, aside from the whistling of the wind, but that's expected, as it's almost November. They're walking slowly, Sehun taking in all the surroundings. Rich people like to surround themselves with both modern architecture and a lot of nature, as almost every building they walk past has some trees and flowers planted in front.

Soon they walk into a park and Sehun can already see the play ground. It's bigger and fancier than all the playgrounds in the parks he's been to, which is probably because it's in Gangnam. It's also empty, just like Junmyeon predicted.

"Let's sit on the swings" Junmyeon suggests, letting go of Sehun's wrist who only now realises that the older man has been holding it for this whole time. As soon as he's seated on the swing he starts slowly swaying back and forth. When he looks to the side Junmyeon is doing just the same. There's a comfortable silence between them, the squeaking of the chains in the air as they both sway slowly.

"Do you want to be a tattooist forever?" Sehun asks out of the blue, suddenly wanting to know more about Junmyeon.

"That's the plan" he confirms, his shoes kicking the sand under the swings. "Until I'm old and my hands start shaking" he adds with a laugh.

"Why a business degree then?" that didn't add up. During one of their first sessions together he mentioned that the business degree will help him in achieving his goal. What did it have to do with tattooing?

"I always wanted to open a studio where people can get brightly coloured tattoos. You know, watercolours, no edge stuff. Just like yours" he starts moving his legs more, swaying a bit higher. "And the ultimate plan is to make it a 'chain' tattoo place. Have people who are talented in that kind of thing employed in each of them" he looks at Sehun "You know, create my own brand."

Well, that explains the business degree. Opening one place wouldn't be that hard without it, but creating a whole brand might be a challenge.

"Do you think that will succeed in Korea?"

Junmyeon chuckles.

"Well, I don't have to worry about that. When I'm finished with my degree me and Joohyun are moving to Canada."

Sehun stops swaying.

"Canada?"

"Yeah. We used to live there, quite a while ago. She really wants to go back. And well, it would be easier for me to start everything. Never mind live my life, you know?" He looks at his covered arms. "No more hiding. I could do what I want, wear what I want. Be who I want."

Sehun is quiet for a minute, trying to organise his thoughts. Junmyeon is in his last year of a masters degree. The last year. That means...

"So, when exactly are you going?"

"End of May. I don't remember the exact date, but we already bought the tickets."

End of may. That's in seven months.

"That's why I work so much" he continues, probably not noticing how shaken Sehun is with this new bit of information. "Had to save up for moving, getting a new place, getting set up, all of that."

Sehun listens to everything Junmyeon is saying, thoughts flying through his head but too fast for him to make any sense of it.

"I didn't know you used to live in Canada." he states after some time, deciding that that's the question best suited to distract him.

"Yeah, I moved when I was 18. At first it was supposed to be just a gap year." Junmyeon chuckles and Sehun turns to observe him. He stopped moving his legs to sway and he's looking somewhere in the distance. "Me and Joohyun, we both loved it there too much to leave. We made a lot of friends, made amazing memories, met many.. special people." he pauses for a second. "So I applied for University. Law, so my parents approve it, even though I was very, very bad at it." he laughs again. "I actually failed just a few months in, but stayed in Canada until I was 22. My mother thinks I only failed on my last year, so keep that a secret"

Junmyeon seems humoured so Sehun tries laughing too, even though it comes out a little strained. In the end he changes the topic to distract them both, asking Junmyeon why he dressed as the phantom of the opera. They end up talking outside for over an hour, before realising that they have a party to come back to. Probably because they've both sobered quite a bit. When they're back Chanyeol is already gone, and from Jongin he gets to know that he left with two of Junmyeon's friends. He can guess which ones.

"I need to get fucking wasted" Sehun says to himself. There's too many things to think about, and frankly he doesn't want to think about any of them.

So he does just that. He drinks, he dances, he makes conversation. He doesn't avoid Junmyeon, but he doesn't exactly go out of his way to interact with him either. It's just a lot of the things running through his head have to do with the older man, and well, Sehun doesn't like processing. Neither the disappointed negative feelings he has every time he thinks about Junmyeon moving away, nor the new, giddy feelings he has when he so much as looks at him.

To his surprise and relief, Joohyun and Junmyeon aren't as touchy as he feared they would be. There's an occasional hand on the shoulder, but they're both just as affectionate with their friends as they are with each other. Sehun hates that it gives him a surge of hope. They're married. They're moving to a different country together for god's sake. He should stop obsessing.

So he drinks more. And more and more. The last thing he remembers is the bitter taste of vodka and the bitter taste of jealousy.

***

When Sehun wakes up the first thing he notices is that his head in pounding. The next is the terrible taste in his mouth, and how much he needs to drink. He groans as he slowly opens his eyes.

The third and fourth thing Sehun notices, is that he's in his room and that he doesn't exactly know how he got here.

As he slowly wakes up he realises more and more things. Like that he's wearing the same tank top and shorts he was wearing under his wolf onesie during the party, or that said onesie is neatly folded on top of his chair, or that there's a glass of water and two pills on his bedside table. Without much thinking and hoping it's painkillers, Sehun takes the two pills and downs the glass of water in one go. He knows he could still go with some more though. And maybe some coffee. Yes, definitely coffee, before trying to figure out what exactly happened.

On shaky legs, and trying to ignore his head spinning, he makes his way to the kitchen. He pauses in the doorway when he sees a man pouring himself a coffee. He's wearing boxers and Chanyeol's Far East Movement t-shirt.

"Umm..." Sehun frowns.

The man turns around.

"Oh, hello Sehun" he smiles and a dimple forms on one side of his face. "How are you feeling? Would you like some coffee?"

"Uhh, yeah, sure" he makes his way to the table, confused, as he watches the man take out another cup.

"How do you take it?" the mysterious man asks.

"Milk and two sugars."

There's more silence as the man prepares the coffee.

"Sorry but, who are you?" he feels dumb asking the question, because the man seems to know him.

"I'm Yixing" he replies with a sweet smile, putting the coffee in front of him. And that doesn't answer Sehun's question at all.

Except maybe it does, as the name sounds familiar. It only takes two sips of coffee for Sehun to remember why.

"You're one of the vampire men" he says, earning a laugh from Yixing. That explains why he's wearing Chanyeol's T-shirt.

Just then another man comes into the kitchen. This one is wearing Chanyeol's Coldplay t-shirt. It's too big on Chanyeol, and as this guy is much shorter he's practically drowning in it. Sehun can't actually tell if he's wearing boxers or not, the T-shirt covering his upper thighs.

"What do you want for breakfast?" the shorter man (Bekyun? Baekhyun? Sehun thinks it was Baekhyun) asks Yixing, not yet noticing Sehun in the kitchen.

"You're gonna cook?" Yixing raises an eyebrow. His voice is so much softer than when he was just talking to Sehun.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm ordering in for the three of us" he grins and leans in to peck Yixings mouth quickly. Sehun looks away, feeling like he's intruding on a private moment.

"Make that four" he hears Yixing say.

"Oh!" Sehun looks up to see Baekhyun's wide grin in front of him. "The princess is awake! How are you doing princess?"

Sehun winces. Baekhyun's voice is loud, much louder and high pitched than it was just a moment ago. And 'princess'? What's with that?

"Dying." he drinks some more coffee. Okay, so there's two men in his kitchen who seem to know who he is. Also however hard he's trying to think, he still has no idea how the hell he got there. He remembers saying goodbye to Jongin so it couldn't have been him bringing him home. Maybe he just took a taxi?

"Do you... Maybe know how I got here yesterday?" he hesitantly asks the two men who are looking through a takeaway leaflet.

Baekhyun immediately perks up.

"I knew you wouldn't remember shit!"

"He didn't seem to recognise me" Yixing adds.

Now Sehun is even more curious.

"It was like maybe two or three o clock. Junmyeon helped you in" Baekhyun says. Junmyeon? Oh god, Sehun feels mortified. "And when I say helped you in" Baekhyun doesn't stop there "I mean he carried you in like a princess because you were barely able to walk."

The hand holding the cup of coffee stops halfway down as he hears the words. Carried him in... Like a princess... So like... like bridal style? He quickly picks the cup again to hide his blush, not caring that some coffee spills on the way.

"Oh my god. I feel so bad-"

"Oh, that's not all princess." Sehun is dying of anxiety, while Baekhyun seems delighted about the whole situation. God, no wonder him and Chanyeol got along. "We were all in the living room and we wanted to say hello, but he just asked which room was yours and got you in there." Baekhyun sits down instead of hovering over the table. "We thought that was it but like five minutes later he walked out holding one of your jumpers and you were stumbling behind him being all like 'i'm sorry i'm sorry"

"What did I do??" Sehun hated the weird dramatic pauses Baekhyun kept on making. Just tell him the whole story at once!

"You like, vomited all over his top"

Well.

Maybe sometimes it's better not to know the whole story.

"Oh god... God, that's so embarrassing" he covers his face, but at this point even his ears are probably red.

"He seemed chill about it though. I doubt he would be actually mad, he was probably more worried. He asked us to keep an eye on you while he went and changed and that's when we said hello"

Okay, so Sehun got black-out drunk at Junmyeon's house to the point that Junmyeon had to take him home and carry him in, and then apparently he vomited all over him. Great. Wonderful.

"You did want to drink more though" Baekhyun continues, and oh god, there's more. "And I'm always down to party, so I was like hell yeah! You were so wasted though, you spilled a whole cup of vodka." Baekhyun laughs "And then Junmyeon came back wearing your sweater, which, by the way I've never seen him in pink and he looked so cute!"

"What about that sweater he got from Kris?" Yixing asks, sitting down next to Baekhyun.

"That one was more purple. Plus he looked more hot in that one, like a sexy art history teacher" Sehun hates the bitterness he feels at Baekhyun calling Junmyeon hot. "It was from Kris though, so we definitely won't see him in that one anymore"

"Shame" Yixing replies in a disappointing tone. "It really suited him"

"What the fuck happened next" Sehun urges Baekhyun on.

"He came in and scolded me for giving you more alcohol. Which, rude, you didn't even drink it." he humphs "Then you started being all aegyo and shit, telling him you want to drink more, and not really listening when he said you should go sleep. So then he-" Baekhyun makes a motion with his arms probably imitating Junmyeon, making a swooshing sound at the same time "-just swooped you off the floor, carrying you like a princess again, and you like, immediately shut up." he laughs, giving Sehun a knowing look which he pretends he can't see. "Not kidding. Right away, just immediately quiet."

"Wish that worked on you" Yixing mutters into his coffee cup.

"No way. Loud and proud baby! Annoying till the day I die!" Baekhyun shouts out and Sehun winces as the pain in his head gets stronger because of the noise. "Well, and then he just carried your to your room"

Sehun sits there for a few minutes, processing everything.

"When did he leave?"

Baekhyun and Yixing look at each other and then shrug.

"Not sure" Yixing says. "We went to Yeol's room like twenty minutes later and went to sleep, so anywhere after that."

Sehun takes a deep breath.

"I need to lie down." he stands up and waddles to his room.

"We'll call you when breakfast is here!" Baekhyun shouts after him and Sehun just answers with what he hopes is a thankful-sounding groan. He throws himself on the bed and takes a moment to just breathe. When he reaches for his phone it's to distract himself, but there's two new messages, both from 'Junmyeon-hyung 🐰' He feels apprehensive but he opens the texts

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'Hope you feel better today, hope your hangover isn't giving you too much trouble 😟'

'text me when you wake up 😊'

Sehun bites his lower lip as he considers what he should reply.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'hey hyung, sorry for yesterday. i don't remember what happened but baekhyun and yixing told me. sorry for puking on you and for drinking so much you had to carry me, and for all the trouble i've caused'

He doesn't think this covers just how sorry he is, but he's too embarrassed to say anything more.

The text back comes just a moment later.

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'don't worry about it Sehunnie, it happens to everyone. You didn't cause any trouble at all😊'

Sehun wants to respond but he sees the three dots indicating that Junmyeon is still typing so he waits. The dots disappear. Sehun frowns. The dots appear again.

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'and carrying you was hardly a task'

'quite the opposite, really'

Sehun stares blankly at the text.

"What does that mean?!" he screams at his phone with frustration. What was he even supposed to reply to that?! He decides to just change the topic.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'lol, anyway thx for folding my onesie hyung'

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'no problem Sehunnie~ You really wanted out of that thing you almost ripped the buttons😅 had to help you with that too'

Well, so much for distractions, now Sehun can't help but imagine Junmyeon leaning over him, slowly unbuttoning button after button.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'wow drunk me must've been so annoying. did i say anything embarrassing to you? lol'

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'definitely not annoying, you were rather cute'

'you do a lot of aegyo when you're drunk, you know that?'

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'ah, aegyo, your only weakness'

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'only when it comes to you it seems'

Sehun gapes as his heart skips a beat. Why did everything Junmyeon say sound so... flirty?

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'but back to your question, I don't think you said anything embarrassing.'

Sehun sighs with relief.

'Drunk Sehun might though, he made me promise not to tell sober-Sehun what he said ??'

'I personally don't think it's anything bad'

Sehun hides his face in his pillow and screams. God, so he did say some stupid shit. Of course he did, he wouldn't be Sehun if he didn't embarrass himself drunk.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'god....what did i say'

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'I can't tell, it's between drunk Sehun and me~'

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'fuck drunk sehun. that bitch is dead to me'

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'🤔 I still promised to keep a secret though'

'it might have something to do with me carrying you 🤐'

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'???'

From: Junmyeon-hyung??

'you just implied you liked it 🤷♂️ that's not exactly the words you used, but I'm not sure why drunk Sehun thinks it's embarrassing enough to keep it from you'

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'bc drunk sehun is a lil bitch'

Sehun feels like he might vomit again. He wants to know what exactly he said to Junmyeon, but it doesn't look like Junmyeon's going to tell him. He hopes he didn't say that it 'makes him feel safe' or some shit. Ugh.

The phone vibrates after half a minute

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'well, maybe sober Sehun would also like it'

Sehun desperately wants to scream into his pillow again

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'we'll never know, i have to be drunk to need to be carried around'

The next reply comes after half a minute again.

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'if you ask very nicely I might do it just for you'

Sehun's breath stops. How come Junmyeon can knock his breath away with just one sentence?

"If I 'ask nicely'?" he repeats to himself "God, just fuck me already" he throws his phone on his bed. Just then he can hear Baekhyun calling him to the kitchen, as the breakfast arrived. He quickly grabs a box they say is his, offers to pay, and after Baekhyun refuses to accept it, he excuses himself back to his room.

Instead of eating the breakfast he puts it on the desk. He lays down in his bed, sliding his shorts down and palming the bulge in his boxers. He closes his eyes, imagining Junmyeon popping open the buttons of his wolf onesie one by one. Junmyeon in his fantasy is wearing a black T-shirt and has that intense look in his eyes. Sehun can feel himself getting hard. He slips his hand into his boxers and gives himself a few strokes, biting his lower lip to stay quiet.

Maybe Junmyeon would also bite his lip while kissing him. He wonders how his hands would feel on Sehun's cock. Would he tease? He slides his boxers off completely. He wraps his hand around his length and starts slowly. All he can think of is the intense eyes, the strong hands. He wonders how would it feel to be picket up by Junmyeon, held in his strong arms. His cock twitches in response. He speeds up, going between imagining Junmyeon's muscular arms around him, to his hands holding him down. He's probably strong enough to hold both his wrists with one hand. Effortlessly.

He lets a moan slip his mouth when he gets closer. It almost sounds like 'hyung'. He can't stop now. Junmyeon's hands on his cock. Junmyeon's lips on his neck. Junmyeon's teeth clasping his nipple.

'Can I come?' he imagines himself saying

'Maybe if you ask nicely' fantasy-Junmyeon responds and real Sehun comes hard and suddenly, spilling onto his stomach.

***

November brings even more rain and more cold weather. Opposite to that, Sehun's chest only gets warmer and warmer whenever he's around Junmyeon. It's definitely attraction, he can't deny that now, not when he jerked off multiple times thinking about his tutor. But there's also something... Something Sehun would rather not acknowledge. Something Junmyeon is making him feel that considering the circumstances he's rather just ignore. So he does just that, pushing down the jittery feeling every time Junmyeon smiles at him, fighting the blush every time Junmyeon sends a text that makes his heart skip, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach at every soft touch.

November is cold for everyone else, but Junmyeon makes his November warmer.

They still have their weekly tutoring sessions, which get more serious with time, as his first exams are getting closer and closer. They play video games too, mostly forgetting about their tattoo deal, but only because the games they play require their co-operation, instead of playing against each other.

One Friday of November Sehun has to cancel both his tutoring session and gaming session though, for the sake of a different thing.

"You did wish him happy birthday though, right?" Jongin asks him, trying to straighten the banner on the wall that just says 'happy birthday Chanyeol'

"Of course I did, I'm not a monster" Sehun moves his mouth away from the balloon for a second to answer Jongin.

"Did he say when he's coming back?" Yerim jumps in the conversation, tidying the last bits of trash from the floor.

They were done preparing for Chanyeol's surprise birthday celebration (you could hardly call it a party with 4 people a cake and some snacks) for over an hour now, so they had nothing to do but wait. Sehun was blowing up more balloons to kill the time. He checks his phone,but the message he send over half an hour ago, asking Chanyeol when he's back has not even been read yet.

"No, not yet" Sehun sighs at his phone but then it turns into a smile when a text from Junmyeon comes through. It's a picture of the TV, starting screen of the game they've been playing last time, with a caption 'it's boring playing this alone 😔'

Sehun takes a picture of the living room

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'it's boring here too... he still hasnt showed up'

"Are you texting your boyfriend" Jongin sits on his right side, looking over his shoulder.

Sehun ignores his comment and locks his phone. At the same time on Sehun's left Seulgi's phone goes off. She smiles at it as she replies.

"Oh my god, you have the exact same looks on your faces when you're getting texts. Look at you guys, flirting with your crushes..." Jongin pretends to wipe a tear from under his eye.

"I'm not flirting" they both say at the same time, Sehun firmly, but Seulgi with hint of shyness. She's been exchanging texts with Sooyoung for some time now, since the Halloween party. They've had lunch together too sometimes.

Sehun's phone buzzes and he quickly checks, grimacing with disappointment when he sees it's from Chanyeol. He almost ignores it, until he remembers that that's whose text they're actually waiting for.

He opens it and the frowns.

From: Park Chanyeol

'not coming back today, havin my guts rearranged xoxo'

"Are you fucking kidding me..." he says, annoyed.

"What, trouble in paradise?" Jongin teases

"It's from Chanyeol. He's not coming home today because he's getting laid"

All three of his friends sigh at the same time, looking around the living room silently for a minute.

"It may be for the better. Wasn't in the mood to party anyway" Yerim says from the corner, as she stands up "I might go home and sleep"

"Gosh, that's a good idea" Jongin adds. "Maybe I'll go too. Unless you want us to stay?"

Sehun would like some company, but all of his friends seem tired, and he doesn't want to hold them here against their will.

"Nah, a nap sounds good actually" he lies "you guys can go, I'll eat some of this shit" he gestures at the snacks "and nap."

It's only 10 minutes later that his friends are gone.

He looks around the now empty living room. He could play some games, but after so much time playing with Junmyeon, playing alone just deosn't seem that entertaining. He looks a his phone. It only takes him a few minutes of considering before he's dialling Junmyeon's number.

Junmyeon picks up on the third signal.

"Sehunnie?"

"Hey hyung. Are you busy?"

"Mostly bored" there's some shuffling on the other line. "playing games alone is boring. How is your party going? Did Chanyeol show up?"

Sehun sighs

"No, he's not coming today. I'm also bored and alone." he bites his lower lip. "Do you... wanna come over and play some games with me?"

There's a pause, but then Junmyeon responds, sounding more enthusiastic.

"Sure. Just let me get dressed and I'll be there soon"

"Great. You remember where I live right?"

Junmyeon laughs.

"Definitely."

After disconnecting it hits Sehun that he just invited Junmyeon over to his house. And well, it shouldn't feel like a big deal but it does. He runs into his room to open his closet to find something to wear. He doesn't want to look sloppy, but he also doesn't want to look like he tried too hard. In the end he decides on sky blue shorts that end just above his knee and a light grey T-shirt.

Junmyeon arrives half an hour later, hugging Sehun again as a welcome. That was another thing that was new after the party, every time Junmyeon was saying hello to him, he would hug him too.

It's not even five minutes later when they're seated in the living room, choosing a game to play. It's a bit chilly in the room, so unfortunately Junmyeon still has his hoodie on him. But, well, Sehun has a perfect excuse to make him take it off.

"How about we play Mario Cart?" Sehun takes the game box out.

"Sure, sounds great"

"So, if I win..."

Junmyeon chuckles as he grips his controller.

"Yes, if you win you can ask about a tattoo of mine."

Sehun smiles triumphantly and soon they're both focused on the game.

And as usual, Sehun wins. He throws his hands up triumphantly and then turns to Junmyeon, with the victory screen in the background.

"Show me your tats"

Junmyeon laughs, unzipping the hoodie slowly.

"Well, you're in luck today!"

Sehun wonders what he means, but then as soon as Junmyeon shrugs down the hoodie, he knows. And shit, he wasn't mentally prepared for Junmyeon sitting in his living room in a loose tank top, his upper arms completely uncovered. Sehun didn't realise how much muscle those sleeves can actually cover, but damn. There's tattoos all over there too. He can see the bunny again, one of the first tattoos Junmyeon ever showed him.

"Uhh..." he looks up and down Junmyeon's hands but really can't focus.

"There's some on the back as well" Junmyeon turns around and sure enough, there's tattoos on his shoulders too. There's one in particular, that's quite different to the others and it catches his attention. It's a hexagon, with some lines and letters around.

"This one" he touches the tattoo with the tip of his fingers.

"Oh"

Sehun's not sure if Junmyeon is just simply surprised or thrown off guard, as he can't see his face. When he turns back to face him again the usual smile is still there.

"It's the chemical structure of dopamine." he pauses for a second, as if considering. "It... used to be a couple tattoo. My ex has Serotonin tattooed in the same place. We tattooed it on each other."

Sehun wonders who that woman was. Junmyeon seemed to know which tattoo Sehun was pointing out even without seeing it, which means she definitely was important. Also, another tattooist?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." Sehun says slowly, not really sure how to react.

"It's alright" Junmyeon does look like it's okay, but Sehun also noticed that no matter the topic Junmyeon always looks like he's okay. Sehun has to wonder how much of that is a mask. "It's in the past." he reaches out his hand to touch the tattoo. "All relationships feel like they're going to last forever. Most of them don't though, that's just life." Junmyeon shrugs.

Sehun knows something about things not lasting forever.

"What is dopamine and serotonin?" he asks instead of overthinking. He heard those words before, but he can't place the meaning now.

"They're hormones of happiness. Most associated with love and joy."

Sehun nods thoughtfully. Suddenly Junmyeon pouts.

"This is unfair."

Sehun blinks a few times.

"What's unfair?

"I demand a re-match"

"A re-match?" Sehun raises a brow, amused.

"Yes. I wanna know what that little flower of yours means too!" Junmyeon shuffles towards the TV to look at Sehun's game collection. It's a bit less impressive than the tutors, but there's still some good games there. Sehun covers his own tattoo with his hand. He knows he agreed to sharing the meaning of his tattoo, but he feels... Well, stupid. Even if he explains it, he feels like it will only make sense to him and no-one else. Still, a bet is a bet.

"What about going back to this?" Junmyeon takes out Tekken 6 with a smile. It was the first game they played together.

"I'm in. No way you can win this one"

"Oh, I've been practising" Junmyeon replies with a smirk.

They pick their favourite characters again, Junmyeon playing with Asuka and Sehun going for Lili.

The first round stars and Sehun can immediately tell that Junmyeon didn't lie when he said he's been practising. They're basically head to head, and Sehun is so caught off guard, that he doesn't expect all the skill.

"Asuka wins!" The TV announces and Sehun frowns. He knows he needs to focus and win the other two rounds. "Round 2. Fight!"

This time he tries all of the combos that never failed him, trying not to be put off by how good Junmyeon got. And his character gets hit a couple of times, but in the end round two goes to him. He breaths out in relief. Only one more round. He gets ready.

"Round 3. Fight!"

Only a couple of seconds after the round starts he can suddenly feel fingers jabbing at his sides and he can't help the high pitched sounds leaving his mouth.

"What are you-" he looks to the side where Junmyeon tries to fight with one hand and with his other hand he starts tickling Sehun. Sehun does his best to move way while also trying to keep his laugh in. He has always been sensitive to tickling.

"S-stop, ahaha- Oh my g-god HYUNG!"

Junmyeon completely lets go of the controller and then he's tickling Sehun fully and this time Sehun can't stop the laugh and screams leaving his mouth. He's still holding the controller with one hand and trying to move Junmyeon away with the other.

"I'm gonna win this even if I have to cheat!" Junmyeon says while also laughing. He grabs the hand Sehun tries to move him away with, bringing it to the other one, and before Sehun knows it he's on his back, with his hands pinned above his head, Junmyeon above him, still tickling him with his free hand.

"H-hyung-" he can't even ask him to stop, because of how hard he's laughing, there's even tears falling from his eyes, but he's still trying to press random buttons on the controller.

"Let the controller go!" Junmyeon says through his own laughter, tickling Sehun even more.

"A- HAHA- O-Okay you w-win!" Sehun finally lets the controller fall from his hand and in that moment Junmyeon finally stops tickling him.

He slowly calms his breathing down. He wants to reach a hand to wipe the tears from his eyes but he realises he can't as they're still pinned above his head by Junmyeon's hand.

Then he realises more things.

Like how Junmyeon is still hovering above him. And there's only the shadow of his playful smile left. He's looking down, at where Sehun's T-shirt rode up a bit, and Sehun didn't even realise Junmyeon's hand is on his skin. It must've end up there during the whole tickling fiasco, but now it feels as if it's burning. Junmyeon's eyes slowly travel up, stop at his face, glance up at where his hand is pinning down Sehun's hands, and then look at Sehun's face again. And Sehun doesn't even want to think what he looks like, with his clothes all rolled up, heavy breathing, messed up hair and teary eyes. But Junmyeon apparently does, as he just continues looking at Sehun, that intense look that Sehun just can't look away from back in his eyes. The hand on his side shifts only a millimetre but Sehun's whole body shudders. Is this-

"Asuka wins!" The TV suddenly announces.

As if it was never there, the look is gone, first followed by confusion, and then amusement.

"I won" Junmyeon smiles widely, moving both his hands away as he moves away from Sehun too. And Sehun doesn't even have strength to argue with him, that he won by _cheating_ because what the fucking hell just happened? He moves up and musters the energy to roll his eyes though.

"Won by literally making me unable to play"

"Still a win in my book" Junmyeon replies and makes himself more comfortable. Sehun almost thinks he's avoiding his eyes, but it might be just delusion. "So, tell me about your flower" he points to Sehun's tattoo.

Sehun can feel himself blushing.

"It's... Stupid, really"

"If it means something to you, then I'm sure it's not stupid" Junmyeon sends him a reassuring smile.

Sehun still hesitates for a second. Junmyeon told him about his tattoos, and they were quite personal explanations, so it's only fair...

"I guess... It's like... wishful thinking? Or maybe I want it to bring me luck?" he starts, already feeling stupid, but Junmyeon is still listening intently. "Because well... It's not like good things don't happen to me, they do..."

His grandma's smile as she said 'I accept you for who you are'

Luhan's lips against his temple whispering 'I love you'

Chanyeol's hands all over his body, moaning of 'god, you're perfect'

"It's just.. They all tend to end before the summer comes. Before the cherry blossoms stop falling..."

He tries not to think about all of it.

The doctor saying 'We did everything we could, but...'

Luhan whispering 'I don't think this will work out'

Chanyeol calming down his breath, 'maybe we should stop doing this.'

He tries not to think about the plain tickets dated for the end of May that Junmyeon keeps somewhere in the house.

"So I guess I just want to have at least one cherry blossom always with me" he looks at the flower and slides a finger across it. "So if good things happen to me, they stick around. I know it's a bit stupid..."

"It's not stupid" Junmyeon interjects quickly, moving closer to Sehun. He also puts his hand on Sehun's arm and touches the tattoo lightly. "I think it's a beautiful meaning."

Suddenly he's hugging Sehun close and at first Sehun freezes with surprise, but he quickly relaxes against Junmyeon's embrace.

"I'm sorry things haven't been the best for you" Junmyeon says. Sehun wonders again if Junmyeon can read his mind. Or maybe Sehun looked pathetic enough while talking about it, to have that response. "I hope next time a good thing happens to you it lasts forever."

Sehun can't help but tighten his hands on Junmyeon's shirt.

'You're the good thing that's happening to me' he wants to say 'Don't go, just don't go' he wants to scream. But he just holds onto Junmyeon while Junmyeon rubs calming circles with his hand on his back. He knows he's being ridiculous, he doesn't have the right to feel so upset. Nothing is going on between him and Junmyeon, nothing ever will. Junmyeon has a wife, responsibilities, plans for the future.

And if nothing even starts it doesn't have the right to hurt him when it ends. Right?

With that lie he tries to distract himself from overthinking with Junmyeon's body heat.

***

After that little slip up, to say Sehun feels awkward around Junmyeon would be an understatement.

He doesn't talk about things like that, not really. And even though he didn't go into detail, he still feels silly and like he shouldn't have said anything. Especially looking at how it compared to what Junmyeon told him about his own life so far. Especially that Junmyeon didn't seem that affected either by the mention of his mother nor his ex, and here Sehun was, getting all mushy and sad just because some people left him during his life.

He feels stupid. Junmyeon probably senses it, damn his mind reading abilities, and doesn't push Sehun to talk more about what his tattoo means. He's thankful for it, but it still feels weird.

And with November rains changing slowly to even colder, December weather, Sehun wonders if the feeling radiating in his chest will help him stay warm through the whole winter.

"You seem a bit out of it" Jongin comments over their cups of hot chocolate.

They're in Starbucks this time, but only because Jongin already has other things arranged for the day.

It's Christmas day, and this year more than any other Sehun dreads having been born in Korea. Why couldn't he be born in a country where Christmas is a family holiday, instead of basically Valentines day 2.0? There's couples everywhere, every way Sehun looks. Well, except for him and Jongin, but Jongin is about to be picked up by Kyungsoo anyway. Sehun is just waiting with him.

"What?" Sehun only now registers that Jongin said something to him.

"What's up with you? You've been spacing out a lot."

"Sorry, just not that fond of Christmas I guess" Sehun reaches out to play with a napkin that's in front of him.

"Not only today." Jongin seems to be watching him with a concerned gaze, but Sehun's eyes are fixed on the napkin, refusing to look up. "For the last couple of months you've been even more out of reach than you usually are."

Sehun rolls his eyes.

"It's getting colder, maybe that's it." Sehun answers, taking a sip from his hot chocolate.

Jongin hums, hopefully accepting Sehun's answer.

"So..." the dancer starts again "how are things with Junmyeon going?"

Sehun tries his best to relax, even though the question immediately makes him freeze. He shrugs, starting to fold the napkin in his hands.

"We've been going through the studying material quite quickly. So the tutoring is going great." he tries to fold the napkin as evenly as he can, matching all the corners togther.

"You've been talking to him a lot. And you guys have been spending a lot of time together, too"

"So?" Sehun shoots back right away.

"So, for the amount of time you spend together, you don't talk about him at all."

"Is that a crime?" Sehun knows he's being irrationally snappy, but he can't help but feel attacked.

Jongin doesn't take it personally though.

"No, just... It was similar with Chanyeol, too." Jongin sounds hesitant to mention it and Sehun immediately frowns.

"What about Chanyeol? This has nothing to do with Chanyeol."

"It's just..." Jongin sighs "I still don't know exactly what happened between you two"

"You know everything that happened. Chanyeol and I fucked a few times. Then we stopped. There's nothing more to know about" this time Sehun doesn't even try to conceal his snappy tone.

"You used to talk about him all the time before though. Talked about how he was handsome and all. Then you talked about him less and less. And then when you started hooking up it's like he didn't even exist outside from our hanging out with him." he pauses for a second. "It just feels like the history is repeating"

Sehun forms his lips in a line. He hates when Jongin does it, just reads him like a book, even though Sehun tries his hardest not to be read.

"Listen..." Jongin's voice is careful, like he's trying to talk to an injured animal. Sehun hates it. "I know, you don't like to talk about your feelings, I'm just worried." Sehun is still struggling with the napkin, trying his best to line it up perfectly, but the stupid thing is too wrinkled. "I know I tell you to seduce the man, but that was just because you so obviously found him hot. But now you seem... Like, you know. There's more. And I don't want you to end up hurt again"

"I'm not stupid Jongin" Sehun says, ignoring the 'again' part. "I wouldn't fall for a guy with a wife. Me and Junmyeon are just very good friends, and there's nothing wrong with finding your friends hot. I think you're hot, it doesn't mean I'm in love with you suddenly." he hates how defensive he sounds, but he hopes Jongin doesn't see through him.

Jongin sighs.

"Alright. Just know you can always talk to me, yeah?"

Sehun nods. He does know, it's just anytime he talks with anyone about any issues that make him feel bad, he regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth.

Jongin seems like he wants to say more but his phone chimes with a text sound.

"Okay, that's my cue, Kyungsoo's here" he stands up from the chair and gives Sehun one final look. "See you soon Sehunnie"

Jongin leaves the Starbucks and Sehun is left with his own thoughts again.

He understands where Jongin is coming from, he really does. But he's not stupid enough to fall for an unavailable man. With that thought he drinks the rest of his hot chocolate. He doesn't want to go back home yet, god knows if Chanyeol is still there, and after the conversation with Jongin is still so fresh in his mind he kind of wants to avoid the guy at least for today. He orders a coffee, this time to take out, and after it's done he leaves the Starbucks.

Well, at least he attempts to, because while opening the door he's so in his own head, that he doesn't notice someone coming in to, and crashes into them, dropping his cup and spilling the coffee on the floor.

"Shit- Fuck, I'm sorry-" he starts apologising but stops when he sees who he actually bumped into. "Junmyeon-hyung?"

"Sehunnie" the man in front of him gives him a big smile but then worriedly looks at the cup. "Are you okay? Sorry for walking into you and spilling your coffee-"

"No, it was my fault, sorry I-"

Someone behind Junmyeon coughs loudly and they both stop apologising, and realising they're still standing in the entrance, move inside.

"Ah, it's a shame about your coffee..." Junmyeon looks at the spilled mess that was now being cleaned by a member of staff "I was buying one now anyway, I could get you a new one?"

"Ah..." Sehun awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. "It's okay, it was kinda my fault anyway.."

"I insist." Junmyeon sends him another big smile, and well, Sehun just can't resist that one.

"Alright then" the corners of Sehun's own mouth move up when he sees Junmyeon's smile, automatically reacting.

Sehun tells him his order and Junmyeon orders both of their coffees.

"Didn't think I'd run into you today" Junmyeon says when they're waiting for their orders to be made. "quite literally at that"

"I was just keeping Jongin company before his date with Kyungsoo." that reminds Sehun. Christmas day, Junmyeon and Joohyun probably have something planned. "And you? Are you out with Joohyun-noona?"

Junmyeon looks at him blankly for a few seconds, as if processing the question, before he giggles.

"No, Joohyun usually spends Christmas in Canada. I'm just out by myself. Christmas is one of my favourite holidays, so I like to just walk around." At that moment the barista calls Junmyeon's name and he takes the two coffees, handing one to Sehun. "So, do you have any more plans for today?" Junmyeon asks when they walk outside.

"Not really... I guess I also planned to just walk around."

"So if you want to walk around, and I want to walk around.. Why don't we walk around together?"

Junmyeon sends him another killer smile and Sehun knows this may be a bad idea, but on the other side he wants to believe that he's not stupid enough to get his hopes up for something that has no right to happen. Plus, can anyone say no to that smile?

"Sure"

Junmyeon looks around, probably deciding which way to go.

"I heard there's a Christmas market in Hongdae" Sehun supplies in what he hopes is a helpful manner.

"A Christmas market? That sounds exciting!" Junmyeon does look very excited, as he links his arm with Sehun's, holding onto the inside of Sehun's jacket. "Let's go!" He turns in the right direction and they start walking.

The walk is twenty, maybe thirty minutes long, but surprisingly Sehun doesn't feel cold. He's not sure if it's the coffee, or the fact that Junmyeon keeps their arms linked for the whole journey. There's also all that excitement in Junmyeon's voice, as he keeps talking, about all the decorations they see on their way, about the differences of spending Christmas in Korea and in Canada, and how much he wishes it was snowing. And throughout it all Sehun can't stop staring, at Junmyeon's eyes that sparkle with happiness, at his beautiful smile.

He had suspicions before, that maybe Junmyeon doesn't always mean his smile, that sometimes it doesn't reach his eyes, but now he's sure. The way his whole face radiates when he talks about things that really make him happy confirms it.

"I like it when you smile" he lets the words slip, surprised at himself that he says it, even though he's been thinking it.

Junmyeon seems confused too.

"I smile all the time though?" he responds, tilting his head to the side a bit.

"You have a smile on all the time" Sehun's not sure why he continues speaking, even though he feels himself getting embarrassed "but you're not always smiling." Junmyeon eyes him curiously. He doesn't comment on what Sehun said, but he seems to understand, if the hand tightening on Sehun's coat sleeve indicates something.

"And. Yeah. I... Like when you smile. Sincerely." Sehun looks down now, at his own shoes. He knows his face is getting red and that he should shut up.

"I like when you tell me what you're thinking." Junmyeon responds after what seems like hours, but is probably just a few seconds. "That way I don't have to try so hard to read your mind."

Sehun looks back at Junmyeon. The smile is more subtle, but still sincere. He smiles back.

"Seems like I do that a lot around you. Say what I think, that is." Sehun says quietly, again wondering why he said it. But it was the truth, something about Junmyeon just made him open up more. Speak his mind, even if he thinks it's embarrassing.

"Well, it seems like I smile a lot around /you/" The noise of the Christmas Market gets louder and louder as they get closer to it, but it's almost non-existent for Sehun, who can only hear Junmyeon now. "Especially when you tell me what you think."

"It's a win-win then" Sehun knows this, this is almost on the verge of flirting, a dangerous territory, but Junmyeon seems to strip all of Sehun's guarding walls down. "I'll say what's on my mind more, and you smile more"

"Deal"

They look at each other grinning, and for once the feeling of butterflies in Sehun's stomach seems to make him lighter, instead of heavy with doom.

"Oh!" Junmyeon seems to spot something in the corner of his eye, and Sehun looks that way too. "There's an ice rink!"

"Huh" He eyes the thing curiously. "I've never been ice skating before" he comments.

Junmyeon gasps.

"You can't be serious" then suddenly he's dragging Sehun along, towards the rink in the middle of the market.

Before Sehun can protest, or even register what's happening, they're being given a pair of ice skating shoes each, and then he's shuffling around with them on towards the big field of ice.

"I'm... Not sure this is a good idea." he says after Junmyeon gets on the ice effortlessly, and he has to hold on to the railing even when he's not even on the the slippery surface yet.

"Come on, I can teach you." Junmyeon waits patiently for Sehun to get on the rink.

"I'm more concerned about not breaking a leg than learning how to skate" Sehun is still hesitant.

Junmyeon reaches out a hand.

"I'll make sure you're not injured. I promise to catch you when you fall"

A wave of warmth spreads through his whole body. He grabs Junmyeon's hand and slowly descends on the ice rink. He can immediately feel like he's losing his balance but Junmyeon catches his other hand too and steadies him.

"You got it! Now try moving forward."

Well, that's easy for Junmyeon to say. Sehun's legs are shaking just trying to keep the balance. The feeling of Junmyeon's hands in his makes him more confident but also more jittery at the same time, making for a confusing experience. He looks around, looking at other people and the way they move their feet, and then slowly trying to copy them, he tries moving forward. It's shaky and very slow, but he's doing it. Every time he almost loses his balance Junmyeon is there to steady him and not let him fall.

"How come this is so hard for me yet you can literally do this backwards?" He tries not to feel mortified when a six year old girl slides past him with ease, much faster than he is.

"This is your first time skating, it's not like you're going to immediately be able to race" Junmyeon giggles. "You're doing great though. Try it by yourself, yeah?" he lets go of Sehun's hands and Sehun pouts, before remembering Junmyeon is watching him.

"Alright, yeah, I can do this" he tells himself. He goes slowly, but to his credit he does manage to skate half the rink before he feels himself losing the balance.

He yelps, fully expecting to hit the ice, but in no time there's arms around him, stabilising him.

"You alright?" Junmyeon asks, and he's close, so close, Sehun hopes the redness on his face can be explained as a reaction to the cold.

"Yeah. Just, almost died, no big deal" he straightens his body again as Junmyeon laughs and slowly lets go of him.

"I told you I will catch you when you fall" Junmyeon reaches out and fixes Sehun's scarf around his neck. Sehun didn't even notice it coming loose. "I'm not going to let you die." He says it so sincerely Sehun forgets how to breathe for a moment.

"Thanks" he answers dumbly.

It does take him another half an hour to fully grasp it, with Junmyeon catching him a couple of times, but in the end he's fairly confident in his skating ability. He won't race Junmyeon anytime soon, but at least he can slowly get around the rink.

Junmyeon is still holding one of his hands though, 'just in case' he said, and Sehun didn't even think of arguing.

"There's so many couples" Sehun says, looking around the rink. He didn't notice before, too busy with paying attention to not-dying (and Junmyeon) but now he can see they're literally surrounded by men and women holding hands and skating together.

"It is Christmas after all" Junmyeon comments. Sehun can feel him squeezing his hand. "I wonder if we look like a couple"

Sehun is so caught off guard by the comment he completely forgets how to hold his balance on skates. He can feel himself falling backwards, and this time he's sure he's going to hit the ice, as the hand Junmyeon was holding him with slips out from his hold.

Not even half a second after it does though, there's an arm under his waist, as Junmyeon catches him with one hand, the other holding onto the railing for balance.

"Are you okay?" There's a hint of concern in Junmyeon's voice but Sehun can only focus on the fact that Junmyeon is basically holding his body weight with _one fucking arm_. He does look a bit strained, but the hold seems stable.

"Fuck, you're so strong"

Junmyeon raises an eyebrow and his mouth quirks with amusement, and Sehun realises he said it out loud.

"I mean, yeah, I'm cool" Sehun gets up again, balancing on the ice skates. "But I think I want to get back to walking on the ground, where my chances of breaking my neck are significantly smaller"

"Are they though?" Junmyeon teases and Sehun rolls his eyes.

They slowly make their way to the exit, Junmyeon still holding onto Sehun's hand, even though Sehun knows he would catch him without it. When Sehun finally gets off the rink he stops Junmyeon before the other can leave it as well.

"You wanted to skate" Sehun says, sitting down to change into his shoes. "And to be fair, I want to see if you're any good"

Junmyeon licks his lips and looks at the rink, then back at Sehun with a determined look.

"I'll show you"

He slides away, already with much more ease and speed than when he was hindered by Sehun, and then starts skating across the ice. And he's good, Sehun has to admit that, he seems to glide across the ice skilfully, much faster than before. It's fun watching him, too, as he seems genuinely enjoying what he's doing, a bright smile on his face. Sehun wonders if this is something Junmyeon did a lot of when he lived in Canada.

It only takes Junmyeon a few minutes though, as he gets off the rink after only a few laps.

"You're done already?" Sehun asks with surprise. Looking how much Junmyeon enjoyed himself he suspected him to stay on the rink for much longer.

"Yeah~" Junmyeon takes one of the skates and starts putting on his shoes. "It was fun, but it was more fun with you" he sends him a blinding smile and then unexpectedly takes his hand into his own again, just like he did on the ice.

"I'm not on ice anymore" Sehun says, his throat tight. "I won't fall" he looks at their joined hands.

"Who knows. Looking at your balance on ice I'm kind of scared you may fall on the ground too" he turns around and tugs Sehun along. "Now let's go check out those food stalls, I'm starving!"

They come up to different booths, sometimes just trying samples, sometimes buying the food if it was especially good. Junmyeon keeps holding his hand throughout it all, and even if he has to let go when his food requires both hands to eat it, it always return into Sehun's hold in the end. They walk around and check out every stall, even though some of them are quite boring. Sehun can never feel bored around Junmyeon though, especially when Junmyeon holds his hand. They keep on talking, too, never reaching the uncomfortable silence. Small comments about the stuff they see, about the people around them.

Sehun remembers Junmyeon's comment from earlier, and he too wonders if they look like a couple.

After they're done walking around they sit down on a bench. Sehun's hand feels unbelievably warm in Junmyeon's.

"Do you have any new year plans?" Junmyeon asks, blowing air on a piece of toppokki to make it cooler. They're sharing a portion, the paper bowl sitting on Junmyeon's lap.

"I don't know, usually me and my friends just sit around and drink" Sehun also stabs a piece of toppokki onto a plastic fork.

"I'm throwing a party again. Come over?" he's looking at Sehun expectantly "You could bring your friends again"

"Yeah" Sehun doesn't even think twice about it. "I'm sure they'll be fine with it. We'll be there"

Junmyeon smiles warmly and shifts his hand, so that their fingers interlace.

"Can't wait. Wouldn't be the same without you." he says and the look in his eyes is so sincere Sehun can't stop staring at this beautiful man in front of him. His heart skips a beat and doesn't stop, racing. Even as Junmyeon looks back down onto the food, Sehun is just mesmerised by him. Everything, everything about Junmyeon is beautiful. Inside and out.

He remembers the words he said to Jongin before, how he's not stupid enough to fall in love with a married man.

Well. Sehun might as well call himself a fucking idiot then, because the feeling he's experiencing right now is proof enough that he_ is_ stupid enough to fall in love with a married man.

***

"I feel like I'm 15 again" Jongin comments under his breath and Sehun has to agree.

The party at Junmyeon's house started much like the previous one, with a lot of alcohol and weed (which, Sehun drank and smoked enough to be definitely not sober anymore). All of the people who attended Sehun recognised from the Halloween party, with the exception of Joohyun being absent. Sehun thinks she's probably still in Canada.

But the reason for Jongin's comment was the fact that after some time a long haired guy (who's name was Heechul, Sehun learned) proposed they play truth or dare to 'get to know each other better.'

As Sehun sits down on the floor, Jongin on his right hand side and Junmyeon on his left hand side, he wonders what exactly did he sign up for.

"Heechul." Junmyeon looks at the long haired guy with wary eyes.

"Don't worry, I have an app for this, I won't make it into our usual truth or dare" he rolls his eyes.

Sehun frowns. What does their usual truth or dare looks like? Before he has a chance to ask Heechul points to Jongdae who's sitting next to him.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" Jongdae immediately responds.

Heechul clicks something on his phone.

"Sit on a man's lap for 10 minutes"

"Easy" he says and swiftly moves to sit on Minseok's lap, wrapping his arms around his boyfriends neck. "Hey babe"

Sehun smiles at them two, as they exchange a quick kiss.

"Our Suho!" Heechul's attention is on Junmyeon now, who still eyes the long haired man carefully.

"... Truth"

"Pussy" Heechul says under his breath and then immediately follows with reading the question. "How many people have you slept with?" he flips the phone to prove to Junmyeon that it was the question that was on the screen.

Junmyeon is quiet for a few moments, and Sehun thinks he doesn't want to answer the question until he notices Junmyeon moving his fingers subtly, meaning he was _counting_.

"... N...ine?" he says, like he's not sure. "I think nine."

"Amateur!" Baekhyun shouts from across the circle, making some people laugh, but Sehun can only cringe. he wonders what Baekhyun would call him, as he only ever slept with three men.

Junmyeon just laughs in response and shakes his head.

"Sehun-ssi! Truth or Dare?" Heechul is looking at him now, expecting an answer. He hesitates for a moment, but decides to just be brave.

"Dare" It doesn't sound as sure as he intended it to, but it still works.

"Okay..." Heechul clicks about on his phone. "'Spoon the person on your left until its your turn again' wow, that's boring." Heechul sounds disappointed

And well, it would be boring if not for the fact that on his left there's Junmyeon. He takes a deep breath, trying not to be too obvious with it, and moves to sit behind Junmyeon.

"Sorry..." he says quietly, and then makes himself comfortable, so that Junmyeon's back is against his chest. He's not sure what to do with his hands so he puts them on his own thighs, that are pressed against Junmyeon's from the back.

"Don't apologise. I like cuddles" Junmyeon responds at the same volume, grabbing Sehun's hands and moving them so that Sehun was hugging him around his waist. He could feel Junmyeon relaxing against his torso.

The game continued, but Sehun could not focus on anything that was going on. With how Junmyeon was pressed against his body, with how he was still holding onto Sehun's hands, now playing with his fingers slightly. His heart was beating like crazy and he hoped Junmyeon couldn't hear it. He wanted to calm it down, but how could he, when he could feel every shift of Junmyeon's body, every breath he was taking, the way he was still playing with the fingers on one of his hands.

Junmyeon moves a bit, so he's more on the side, and leans his head back, to rest it on Sehun's shoulder.

"Are you nervous about your exams?" Junmyeon asks, low volume, not to disturb the people that are playing. His breath is tickling Sehun's neck and a chill runs through his body.

"A bit." he answers, hoping that his breath isn't as shaky as he feels. "But I had the best tutor for it, so I'm quite confident."

Junmyeon squeezes his hand at that.

"Junmyeon, truth or dare?" Heechul's voice is louder now, and Sehun wonders if he had to repeat himself.

Sehun can feel the older man sighing.

"Truth."

"No fun. 'Have you ever had a threesome?'" Heechul chuckles. "Ooh, spicy"

"Yeah" Junmyeon answers offhandedly, as if that answer didn't just rock Sehun's whole world.

"I knew that already" Heechul answers pouting. "Okay, Sehun-ah, your turn."

And technically Sehun knows that he should move away from Junmyeon now. The spooning was supposed to last only one round. But maybe no one will notice, if he chooses truth and won't have to move... He can always say he just forgot if anyone confronts him about it.

He tightens his arms against Junmyeon.

"Truth."

"Have you ever had a fuck buddy?"

Sehun tries his hardest not to look at Chanyeol.

"Yup" he answers and only after Heechul moves on to the next person does he relax again. He didn't even notice how tense he was.

"Hey, I was wondering..." Junmyeon starts, one of his hands travelling to Sehun's thigh. He's wearing ripped jeans today, and it looks like Junmyeon takes a liking to that, as he starts drawing small circles directly on Sehun's skin, where the rips are. "After you're done with your exams... Do you want to celebrate?"

"Are you gonna throw another party?" Sehun laughs to cover the fact that his breathing quickens.

"I was thinking, going out to a club maybe? Just you and me." his finger digs a bit under the material of Sehun's jeans. "We could have some pre-drinks here. Then go out. You could even stay over after if you want. Or we could just stay here and get wasted and play games. Up to you."

Junmyeon sounds fairly confident, but there's a nervous note in his voice. Or maybe Sehun is just delusional.

"I- uh.. Yeah, that sounds great."

They end up pressed together for the entirety of the truth or dare game, both of them kept choosing truth. Junmyeon's hand doesn't leave Sehun's thigh.

When it's closer to midnight and they all decide to go to the roof to see the fireworks, Sehun hesitantly untangles himself from Junmyeon.

"So..." Jongin starts when Junmyeon is busy with leading everyone to the rooftop.

"Shut up" Sehun immediately responds. They're at the back of all the people, talking quietly enough so no one would hear them, not that anyone was listening. Everyone was quite busy engaging in conversation while walking up the stairs.

"I didn't even say anything" Jongin laughs at Sehun's response. "It was just, you know. Interesting, watching you guys. You were basically in your own little world for the whole game.

It's not like it wasn't true. If asked Sehun would not be able to name any dare anyone else did, except for Jongdae sitting on Minseok's lap.

"We were both just high and out of it." they come up to the roof of the building.

"Keep telling yourself that" Jongin pats his shoulder "now excuse me, I gotta find Kyungsoo and give him a midnight kiss."

Sehun sighs and comes up to the edge of the roof, a bit further away from everyone else. The railing is high enough to lean on it, so he does.

Even though midnight is a minute away the fireworks are already visible all around. They're quite high up, so the view is incredible. Sehun decides to focus on that.

Then there's a hand on the small of his back and a chin on his shoulder. His breathing halts.

"Hey" it's Junmyeon's voice, even though by the touch alone he already recognised that it's him.

"Hi" Sehun responds and his voice sounds so shaky, he immediately feels embarrassed. To cover it up he adds "Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to do that?" He's referring to Junmyeon putting his chin on Sehun's shoulder.

There's a scoff followed by a laugh.

"Wow, so mean" Junmyeon's hand travels from his back, to link it with his other one across Sehun's waist. "So what if I do?"

Sehun chuckles at that, putting one of his hands on Junmyeon's hands that are linked on Sehun's abdomen.

He doesn't know if it's another delusion, or if he can actually feel Junmyeon's heart beat faster.

"10! 9!" Someone starts counting down. Sehun looks to the side and sees the group of people from their party huddled together.

"8! 7! 6!" everyone keeps shouting. Junmyeon's arms tighten around him.

"5! 4!" they're both quiet. Sehun closes his eyes.

"3! 2!" Maybe he doesn't have anyone to kiss, but he still can make a New Year's wish, right?

"1! Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year Sehunnie." Junmyeon whispers against his shoulder.

Sehun wishes the cherry blossoms stay forever this year.

***

After the break finishes Sehun dives head in straight into exam week, which is enough to make him not think about anything else than business. He doesn't think he's ever been as stressed by exams but at the same time as confident in his knowledge. He knows he owes it to Junmyeon.

Finally though, after his last Friday exam it's over he can exhale. He gets back to his room to get ready for the night out. Chanyeol isn't there, but he never is in the flat anymore recently.

Sehun wonders if he should put makeup on. To be completely fair, he's too tired to even process the thought of going out to a club, but he definitely wants to spend time with Junmyeon. Games it is then. In the end he still decides for just a bit of black eye shadow.

He puts on the ripped jeans again, too, remembering Junmyeon's fingers on his thighs.

Around 9pm he's in front of Junmyeon's door.

"Sehunnie~" a smiling Junmyeon opens and immediately pulls him in for a hug. Sehun returns it and then comes into the apartment, pointedly not looking at the wedding picture in Junmyeon's hall when he takes off his shoes.

They get inside and Junmyeon pours them both a drink.

"So how did your exams go?"

Sehun goes into a rant about his exams, while Junmyeon starts rolling a joint, nodding and responding to Sehun's story.

"But yeah. In the end it went okay. I'm pretty sure I passed them all" Sehun finishes his first drink just as he finishes the story, and Junmyeon finishes rolling the joint.

"I'm sure you passed." Junmyeon smiles at him and Sehun returns the smile. "I'm proud of you"

Sehun looks down sheepishly.

"Thank you for helping hyung. I couldn't have done it without you" he responds. There's a sound of a lighter and then Sehun can smell the cannabis in the air.

"Give yourself more credit Sehunnie. I just helped, you did all the rest."

"Let's say it was a collaboration piece then."

Junmyeon laughs at that, and after a few tokes on the joint, passes it to Sehun.

They smoke the whole joint in one go, Sehun slowly relaxing more and more. He didn't even know how tense he was.

The longer he's just chilling with Junmyeon in his apartment, the more he doesn't want to go out. Why would he, they have all the alcohol they need here, plus outside they can't smoke.

"I'm gonna get another drink" Sehun says after a few already, when they're done with yet another joint and stands up from the couch to go where the alcohol and soft drinks are. They're still in the same place from the party.

"I want one too" Junmyeon follows right behind him.

"I can pour you one" Sehun says and reaches to take Junmyeon's glass but Junmyeon is already by the alcohol table. Sehun can only follow as he grabs a bottle and pours himself some vodka, passing the bottle to Junmyeon after. Then he takes the bottle of coke and tries opening that.

The key word being 'tries' as the coke fizzles loudly and then spills everywhere, including Sehun's shirt and Junmyeon's black T-shirt.

Both of them stand still for a second, and then Junmyeon starts laughing while Sehun groans.

"Why am I like this" he says to himself, looking down at the mess on his shirt and then at Junmyeon. "I'm so sorry about this"

"Hey, it's okay" Junmyeon is still giddy "come on, I'll give you something to change into and we can soak your shirt so it doesn't stain" he puts his glass down and starts walking towards a room Sehun hasn't been in yet. It ends up being a bedroom, quite a big room but also quite minimalist, only a bed and some drawers around. Junmyeon comes up to one of the drawers and takes out two black T-shirts. Sehun can see the drawer is full of them.

"Do you only wear black T-shirts hyung?" Sehun asks, to cover the nervousness of being in Junmyeon's bedroom. He takes a T-shirt that Junmyeon hands him.

"Not only, but mostly I guess." Junmyeon responds and then to Sehun's surprise, takes his stained with coke T-shirt off completely, then and there.

Sehun stops breathing, clutching the piece of clothing Junmyeon just gave him, looking at Junmyeon's body.

Because fuck. He's seen parts of his torso, his arms, even a bit of his ribs, but never all at once, never all of this skin that he's seeing now. And god, he wants, he just wants it. Wants to touch, kiss, roam his hands all over Junmyeon's body.

"I-is that a new tattoo?" he asks, his voice shaking. There's an image of some flowers and vines just above the line of Junmyeon's jeans. It's on the same side as the flower on Junmyeon's ribs, so Sehun is quite sure it wasn't there before, because he would've seen it. Junmyeon looks down.

"Yeah, I had it done a couple of weeks ago."

Before Sehun knows it his hand reaches out to touch it.

The moment his fingertips make contact with Junmyeon's skin, his muscles tense and Sehun swears he can hear him take a deep breath. He's not moving Sehun away though, and even if the tattoo is old enough not to be clearly tangible, Sehun still touches along the lines of it. When Sehun's finger rubs against the seam of Junmyeon's pants, where the tattoo disappears, there's a hand on Sehun's elbow.

Instantly, Sehun panics. God, Junmyeon is probably weirded out and he's going to move his hand away and-

But Junmyeon's hand does not push Sehun's away, instead it moves up along the length of his arm and ends up on the back of Sehun's neck.

Sehun looks up from the tattoo to find that intense gaze on him again, except now it's searching and the older man moves closer, they're bodies almost touching and- oh god and Junmyeon is looking at his mouth-

Junmyeon's hand brings Sehun down while Junmyeon himself moves up and suddenly Junmyeon's lips are on his.

Sehun's mind goes blank as he gasps into Junmyeon's mouth with surprise. It seems though that his body registers what's happening quicker than his mind, because before he knows it, he's kissing Junmyeon back. The kiss is anything but soft. It started out hesitantly, but not even a few seconds in their bodies are flush against each other. Junmyeon nips his lower lip and as a response Sehun gasps again. Junmyeon seems to take it as an initiative to slip his tongue between Sehun's lips and Sehun can't help but let out a small sound. He hooks his finger's on the edge of Junmyeon's jeans.

Before he knows it he's pinned back against one of the drawers, Junmyeon's hands now travelling down, on Sehun's torso, to rest on Sehun's hips. He groans into Sehun's mouth when the younger can't help it and grind his lower body against him. When Junmyeon's mouth leaves his he doesn't even have time to complain, because quickly it finds itself on Sehun's jaw.

"F-fuck, hyung" Sehun moans when Junmyeon finds a particularly sensitive spot, just between Sehun's jaw and neck. As if Junmyeon knows, he sucks on the skin there, soothing it with his tongue after. Sehun's hand ends up in Junmyeon's hair as his hips grind again. He's already half hard and he would be embarrassed, if not for the fact that when Junmyeon grinds back he can feel that the other is too.

The kisses move down to his neck and Sehun feels hot all over. Especially when Junmyeon's hands move too, and now they're on the backs of Sehun's thighs. Suddenly he's being hauled up, Junmyeon holding him against his pelvis, lips still on Sehun's neck.

Sehun wraps his legs around Junmyeon, his dick instantly twitching. Before he knows it they're moving, Junmyeon holding him up with no effort. It only takes him a few steps and then he's being laid down on the bed, Junmyeon following right behind. Junmyeon's mouth comes back to his as his hands work up, grabbing the edge of Sehun's shirt and moving it upwards.

They separate for a second, just to make way for Sehun's T-shirt to be taken off, and then they're back to kissing. The kiss only deepens, Junmyeon definitely having a thing for biting, and with every nip at Sehun's lower lip, a wave of arousal shots through him.

Junmyeon's hands aren't shy with exploring Sehun's body, but he hesitates by the edge of Sehun's skinny jeans.

"Is this okay?" he asks breathlessly, as if this isn't what Sehun was dreaming about for months.

"Yes" he replies eagerly, and to confirm it he pushes his hips up, his erection rubbing against Junmyeon's even through layers it feels amazing, and both the men moan at the friction. Junmyeon doesn't waste time to undo Sehun's pants, sliding them down together with his boxers.

"Y-you too" Sehun doesn't want to be the only one naked, so hauling himself up on his elbows he immediately reaches for Junmyeon's pants, but because he's a bit too eager it takes him a couple of times to unbuckle Junmyeon's belt. Junmyeon doesn't seem to mind, instead he takes this time to wrap his hand around Sehun's dick and start moving his hand. Sehun whines, both with pleasure and frustration, as the distraction is definitely not helping in trying to get Junmyeon out of his pants.

He finally succeeds though, and immediately gets even more turned on. Not only can he see the rest of the tattoos on Junmyeon's hips, but there's also new ones, he didn't see before, on both of Junmyeon's thighs.

"Fuck, Sehunnie..." Junmyeon lets out a moan against the skin of Sehun's chest when Sehun finally starts stroking his cock. It feels so heavy and perfect in his hand. "I wanted to get you naked for so long, Sehunnie.." Junmyeon's lips are brushing on Sehun's nipple now, hand still moving along his shaft. Sehun can feel himself twitching both at the words and the feeling of Junmyeon's tongue flicking against his nipple.

"Hyung I-" he moans again, bucking his hips into Junmyeon's hand when Junmyeon traps the bud between his teeth. "I want you so bad I- I fingered myself today, i-imagining it's you" he normally would feel too embarrassed to say stuff like that but he's too turned on and frankly too high to care.

Junmyeon grunts loudly and in one swift movement flips Sehun over so that he's lying on his belly now, and then with another move he props Sehun's lower half up, ass up.

"Fuck, you're so-" Junmyeon groans against Sehun's ear, starting a trail of open mouthed kisses on Sehun's back, hand gripping Sehun's ass. Sehun grinds desperately, pretty sure he's already leaking pre-cum at this point.

"Hyung, please" he whines when Junmyeon's finger moves in between his ass cheeks, teasing against his rim. He shuffles his hips back, needing Junmyeon's touch like he never needed anything more. Junmyeon swears again and then he disappears for a second to reach into the bedside drawer. Sehun takes this time to put his hand underneath his body and wrap it around his own member.

Only a moment later Junmyeon is behind Sehun again, a bottle of lube and a condom in hand, moving Sehun's palm away despite his desperate whine.

"Today, when you touched yourself..." Junmyeon's voice is deeper than usual, filled with arousal and Sehun feels hot. "Was that the first time you touched yourself thinking about me?" He asks. Sehun can hear the cap of the lube being opened and then squeezed.

"No, I- a-ah.." Junmyeon's wet finger circles against his rim, his other hand spreading his cheeks apart. "Definitely not t-the first time"

Junmyeon hums in response. His finger breaches the ring of muscles and Sehun can't help but push his hips back so that it enters him quicker. His whole body is shivering with arousal, even though its only one finger.

"So eager." Junmyeon leans over to plant kisses down Sehun's spine, moving his finger in and out, not hesitating to add another one.

"Yeah, I want you to- Ah, fuck!" Sehun moans loudly when Junmyeon's fingers graze against his prostate.

"You wan't me to what~?" Junmyeon teases now, fingertips circling the bundle of nerves in him, fingers crooked to apply more pressure to that particular spot. Sehun moans into the pillow, the pleasure overwhelming, he can't get out any words, he can just moan and grind his hips back. Junmyeon adds another finger. "What is it you want, Sehunnie?" he asks again, three fingers working now, stretching Sehun out, making him drool and whine with every press against his sweet spot.

"I- I-" he can't get the words out in between the gasps and whimpers. But god, he's ready, he's so ready- "I want y-you to f-fuck me"

Junmyeon's fingers disappear then.

"Hurry up, hyung" Sehun whines again, urgently.

"God, look at you" he can hear the bottle of lube being squeezed again. "So desperate." he puts the lube away and the next thing Sehun knows the tip of Junmyeon's cock is pressing against his hole, first lightly, but then shifting in.

"Fuck-" Sehun can feel the stretch, when inch by inch Junmyeon slides into him, both groaning at the feeling. Junmyeon bottoms out, his hips against the back of Sehun's thighs. "God, you feel so good" Sehun doesn't even wait that long to adjust before he starts grinding his hips back, wanting to feel more.

"You're so impatient" Junmyeon sounds so breathless, Sehun feels immediate pride that it's because of him.

"Fuck me, come on" Sehun can only respond and its as if that's all Junmyeon needed. He grabs Sehun's hips, keeping him still and starts moving, at first slow but powerful, but then gradually picking up speed.

Sehun feels like he's loosing his mind. He'd think its all another wet dream, if not for the fact that it feels so good, Junmyeon's thrusts filled with so much determination. He can't stop moaning, his face against the pillow, probably leaving a drool stain but how can he care, when all he can think about is how Junmyeon's dick is fucking his brains out. Next thing he knows, Junmyeon leans over, sneaking his hands on Sehun's upper arms and pulling him up by them, changing the angle completely, now every thrust directly against his prostate.

"A..Ah! F-fuck hyung..! God, you feel- s..so good" He's much louder now, moans bordering on screams. He'd never been fucked this good before, Junmyeon's precise movements making sure Sehun gets the most pleasure out of his every move, even though his dick is left untouched. But it barely feels like he needs it, just Junmyeon's cock against his sweet spot enough to make him feel like he's almost at the edge.

"I'm close" he whines out. He loves how limp he is in Junmyeon's hold and yet Junmyeon can still hold him up, as if it's nothing.

Suddenly Junmyeon pulls out but before Sehun can even react he's lying on his back again, and Junmyeon doesn't waste time to hold him by his thighs, this time lifting his lower body up, and putting his cock back inside Sehun.

"Fuck- don't stop please, f-fuck me-" he whimpers when Junmyeon picks up the pace again, somehow knowing even in this position how to make sure Sehun's prostate keeps getting stimulated.

Junmyeon looks like he doesn't ever think about stopping, his thrusts never relenting. Sehun can feel his climax building inside him quicker and quicker, so intense there's tears at the corners of his eyes.

"A-Ah..!" it only takes a few more thrusts and Sehun's body curves in an arch, as his breathing stops, his orgasm overwhelming him, spreading pleasure throughout his whole body. Junmyeon whimpers, his thrusts going less stable more frantic, and within a minute he's coming too, hips pressing against Sehun's thighs, the hottest grunt Sehun has ever heard leaving his mouth.

Sehun's body falls back on the mattress and Junmyeon's with it, his cock slipping out of Sehun. Their chests are pressed together. Junmyeon still makes sure not to put his whole body weight on Sehun and Sehun can't believe how considerate the man is.

They both just lay like that for some time, breathing each other's air.

There's a small kiss against Sehun's collarbone, then neck, then jaw, and before he knows it, they're kissing again, slower this time. Junmyeon taking his time to explore Sehun's mouth, the desperate need they both felt finally satisfied; at least for now. Junmyeon caresses Sehun's cheek and Sehun puts his hand into Junmyeon's hair, his fingers tangling in it.

Sehun is not sure how long they're like this, just kissing each other deeply but slowly, but it's gradually lazier and lazier. In the end Junmyeon just presses his lips against Sehun's once, twice, Sehun smiling at the small kisses. The exhaustion is getting to him now. He can feel himself slowly drifting away when Junmyeon moves for a moment to get some wet wipes from the bedside drawer, to clean the come off of Sehun and then take the condom off, tying it at the end and then wrapping it in the wipe.

The last thing Sehun remembers before falling asleep is Junmyeon's arms around him, lips pressed against his temple.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on my tweetfic twitter @junmyeonbi or on my main twitter @gayseungwan


End file.
